Title: BE LIKE US
Featuring: The Hallmark Journey
Date: UNCUT 88
Location: Movie Theater

From UNCUT 88:

The Cute N Qwerty Gurl stampedes down to the first row where Berry Chernobyl finishes seating a couple and sure enough, it’s Gage Blackwood and a guest.

Teresa Ames:
What. The. Fuck.

Her eyes can’t believe it.

Berry Chernobyl:
Excuse me, may I see your ticket so I can seat you, please?

Ames finds none other than Kristie Bellis sitting next to Gage Blackwood. An awkward glance is exchanged between all those involved. Kristie looks super cute in her little black dress as Gage’s facial expression is entirely disinterested about his current surroundings.

Teresa Ames:
What the absolute holy fu—

Berry Chernobyl:
Miss, may I have your ticket please or I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave.

Teresa Ames:
You are scum, Gage Blackwood. I can’t believe you! I picked out this niche date for us and yet here you are, with this tramp, Kristie slut-ass Bellis. Why? I just want to know why!?

Tension rises as Gage gives his entirely disinterested reply.

Gage Blackwood:
Aye, I never said I’d go with you. I said, “sure?” Then you stalked me backstage after my match with Thomas Slaine. I was getting uncomfortable.

Blackwood turns to Kristie.

Gage Blackwood:
Besides, Kristie and I are just friends.

Ames is fuming. In fact, she’s even more fuming at how casual Blackwood is over this.

Teresa Ames:
I am going to cut off your baws—

Berry Chernobyl:
Okay, that’s enough.

Before a fight breaks out, Chernobyl grabs Ames by the arm and begins escorting her back up the aisle. Kristie’s face turns red at the scene being caused. Ames goes ballistic in Chernobyl’s arms.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHH!

A gust of air whistles between Bellis and Blackwood’s heads and no, it isn’t from any ASMR finger flutters. They turn in confusion as it’s not exactly easy to see in the dimly lit theater. Gage finally looks down and notices a full, unopened can of soda on the ground. It has a large dent in it. He picks it up.

Kristie Bellis:
Did she just throw an unopened soda can at us?

Blackwood nods.

Gage Blackwood:
Aye. She missed, though.

Teresa’s banshee screams echo for a few more moments until she’s removed from the property entirely. The lights dim and the long venture of about six hours of sappy romantic movies begins…

The scene moves towards a couple nestled in the back left-hand corner of the theater. It’s one of the new DEFIANCE tag teams, Jonathan-Christopher Hall and his wife, Vickie Hall. They are curled up together, getting ready to watch the event unfold…

Except Jonathan-Christopher looks a little concerned. He turns his head to his wife.

Jonathan-Christopher Hall:
Aw, sweetheart, that poor girl Teresa and her boyfriend Gage seem to be having problems.

Vickie blushes.

Vickie Hall:
Baby, I love you so much when you care about other people. Do you care about me?

Jonathan-Christopher Hall:
Honey, you are my everything.

Vickie blushes again.

Vickie Hall:
Butterflies and goosebumps when you say that to me, baby.

They cuddle in closer together, if that’s even possible and enjoy the rest of their night out.



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TALKING SMACK

"You see folks, I’m here for one simple reason. History. And DEFIANCE? Ohhhh, she’s absolutely brimming with it! She has so much of it in fact that astronauts can see it glistening from orbit in their little shuttles. Truth be told, I like to mine that stuff like bitcoin. Because history… well, it’s the lifeblood of tomorrow. It’s the "nulla terram" for one’s destiny. It’s the first blot of ink scratched onto the parchment of eternity, and it just so happens that I, Arthur Pleasant, am the feather that puts the two together."

- "The Provocateur" Arthur Pleasant

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