Complete cVc Press Conference before Grindhouse Three
Posted by Chance Von Crank on 3 Nov 2013
The media met with Chance Von Crank the morning before Grindhouse Show Number Three. This is the chaos that ensued. Previously unreleased.
[Cameramen and reporters from all over Japan wait in front of a table, with a name plate sitting on top of it that reads, Chance Von Crank. Crank walks in wearing his full wrestling gear and the bright lights of the numerous camera flashes causes him to squint a bit. Reporters are all ready with pens and pad already holding up their hands to ask questions. Chance sits down in the chair behind the table and looks out on the japanese press.]
cVc:
Fucking Gooks… Questions for the Trailer Park Prodigy? Go!
[Many of the reporters eagerly ask questions away as he chooses a female reporter out front.]
Japan Wrestling Weekly Reporter:
What will you be for halloween this year?
cVc:
What Cancer Jiles Never Could Be. Chance Von Crank. Next question…
[Chance scours across the crowd with his eyes. He chooses a male reporter towards the back as the others continue asking questions anyway.]
Hentai Wrestling Online Reporter:
Do you still use the drug, Meth?
cVc:
Are you a cop? Fuck you and your question, next!
IGN Reporter:
What do you say to the recent allegations that you have been funding the West Boro Baptist Church back in America?
cVc:
What business is it of yours where I do my churchin’?
[Chance becomes more frustrated as more questions rain down.]
WrestleCell Reporter:
Do you agree that you actually hurting the sport of wrestling rather than furthering and do you hate homosexuals?
[Chance stands up and turns over the table throwing everything atop of it to the floor.]
cVc:
MOTHERFUCKER! Listen to the Trailer Park Prodigy and you better goddamn listen good. There is no one and I do mean, NO ONE like me in this business. I have heard it all before you won’t last this or that. Now look where those fuckers who said that are, they would pay me whatever I wanted just to sniff my ass right now. I Bested them all. Who cares if I hate fucking faggots or not? That’s not what I do is talk politics with chinks and think I am getting somewhere with US/Japan relations. Reason is I Don’t Give a Fuck. I worry about cVc making money relations because I am all about SOME FUCKING ME! CVC!
[Crank walks off cursing the reporters and grabbing his crotch, taunting the media as he walks away angry.]
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