Knock Knockity Knock-knock...

Knock Knock.

[We’re once again in Dane’s New Orleans office. Mounds of paper work are piled on the desks, a couple with visible warnings such as “court order” stamped across them in large red type. Our glorious leader was for a change looking more than slightly frazzled, and also pretty drunk.]

Dane:

“You’re late Jeremiah”

[The door swings open to reveal Jermiah rocking a bright blue t-shirt and jeans who takes no time to fall into the chair across from Dane and begin gently rocking on a couple of the legs.]

Rainwood:

“Daney baby, how’s things? Only took me twelve missed calls and an exposé by Angus to finally track your ass down”

Dane:

“As I’m sure you know a little busy... with a bunch of stuff and a little bitch named Heidi, now get the fuck on with it or get the fuck out. Oh and have a fucking drink while you’re at it, I’m fed up of drinking alone.”

[He slid a glass of whiskey to Rainwood, who obligingly took a sip.]

Rainwood:

Chill out Danester, all I came here to do is talk about that messed up match you so beautifully teed up for me last week. You see, I promised the fine fans of defiance a once in a lifetime, absolutely unmissable, knock your socks so far off that some poor kid in Laos has the vomit inducing things land square in his mouth kind of match. And that match last week. Well it most certainly wasn’t one of those.

Dane:

You lost your debut, why should I give a crap if your wrestling skills aren’t up to scratch. Hell why don’t I fire you and have one less problem on my plate. Now if you’re going to bitch about the fact you lost, I’ll be happy to toss you out the door myself and that would you be getting off lightly”

[Even chilled out superstars get frustrated, and though Rainwoods voice stayed pretty consistently low and calm, it most definitely had a slightly annoyed tone]

Rainwood:

Oh no Eric, I believe you very much got the wrong end of the stick. Yah see, I know I lost and I damn well know it’s my own fault. I let my concentration slip and ended up falling foul to it. I’ll just have to rectify it this week in the triple threat. No Dane, the problem I have the guy you must have, from what I can tell at least, found sleeping in a dustbin behind the arena, dressed in a cheap Halloween costume and gave a freaking camera phone to. The second he entered the ring, I knew I had no chance of putting on a show, I knew that that match was going to barely lift its head above the pulpit of mediocrity and that would only be if me and Lash pulled out are A games. If I cared about winning that match so badly, I could have rolled out the ring, picked up a chair and bashed Lash Grahams skull in, thrown the chair out of the arena and as the ref was paying so little attention, simply role his ass up for the pin. I’m not complaining I lost. I’m complaining that on my debut you didn’t even give me a chance to kick the show off properly because of your own troubles.

Dane:

You got a shit ref, what should I do about it Rainwood. Every wrestler in this organisation gets screwed at one point or another. One of my main draws is lying in a fucking hospital right now because he got so severely screwed over. You’ve already got a rematch at Ascension, what do you want me to do about it?

[Upon hearing the question Rainwood perked up immediately, and his normal wry smile had returned to his lips.]

Rainwood:

Now I was hoping you were going to ask that Daneo, I was hoping for a favour, you see as a kid I watched my fair share of the old telly box. I’d watch everything, wrestling of course, but I also had fondness for Saturday morning cartoons. Actually still do, nothing beats a hangover better than some fruit loops and a couple of episodes of Spongebob. Anywho...

Dane:

Get to the point Jeremiah.

Rainwood:

As I was saying, anywho, on occasions depending on the channel and the time of year, and the phase of the moon or something, the network would get a young fresh faced TV presenter to fill in the gaps between shows. Now usually this involved poorly drawn pictures of Spiderman and sounded really condescending, however ten year old me, vowed one day, somehow I would follow in there glorious footsteps and become a children’s TV presenter. I think it may have been to do with this smoking hot girl called Mandy who was presenting one summer...

Dane:

The point Rainwood or God help me I’m going to throw you out of my office and then Star Driver you down the stairs good measure. 

Rainwood:

I’m just enjoying the quality time with the big boss, we never do this anymore. I miss you.

[Daggers from Dane as he begins to rise from his seat]

Yeah, I’m getting to it. As far as my chance to be a big time childrens TV presenter had long passed me by, I am far too un PG. However that doesn’t mean I can’t present something.

So that’s where you come in on the deal Daney, come Ascension, I want ten minutes of uninterrupted, actually scrap that you’re not omnipotent, just ten consecutive minutes of air time for me to have a couple of beers and chat with the other fine members of our roster on. No biggie.

Dane:

So you want me to take a good ten minutes of air time, give it exclusively to a brand spanking new wrestler, who lost his debut and completely fair match, just because the referee was a bit crap and hence I owe him a favour.

Rainwood:

Yes siree

[For a second it looked as though the Rainwood was going through the door, but then then Danes expression changed.]

Dane:

You know what fuck it, have your show. I could use a segment that’s not either torture porn or rioting for a change. You’re in charge of everything, guests, props, even make up people. I want to see the new talent on display, and no more massive fuck off brawls that only cause me another managerial headache.  You get three weeks of whatever crap you produce, if people like it then I’ll keep it on air, otherwise you can take your arse out with it.

Now get out so I can deal with another fucking complaint from the Superdome with my friend Johnnie Walker.

Rainwood:

Will do Daney. You know you should take some time off, grab a massage or something, would really help out with the stress problems your suffering.

Dane:

Shut up and fuck off Jeremiah.

[One cheeky wink later]

Rainwood:

O.K. boss man, O....K.

[Fade]

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