Kelly Evans presents: DEF*MAX The DEFIANCE Grand Prix

Posted by Kelly Evans on 6 Apr 2015


In a video just handed to us by the Matriarch of DEFIANCE, Kelly Evans, we have the latest news and details on the DEF*MAX Tournament that will be taking place over the next couple months! The tournament, which was announced towards the end of the AfterShock PPV, has been a topic of hot discussion in halls of the Wrestle-Plex. Well, wait no more! Because after the jump, we will be giving you ALL of the details, straight from the BAWS’s mouth!

Come on. Click on more. You know you want to… DO IT RIGHT NOW!


[At first, there is black. Then it fades in to show Kelly Evans sitting at her desk, wearing a rather revealing top. The Man-Slaves, Francois and Bruno stand at either side of her, palm fronds fanning her lightly. There is Alize and a bunch of grapes at the ready, should she require either.]

Voice Over:
It’s Kelly Evans, bitches.

[Kelly then smiles.]

Kelly Evans:
Good evening, DEFIANTS and DEFIAfans. We are about to embark on a one-of-kind tournament that will melt your faces and blow the doors off this place! Why? Because I’m Kelly Evans and that’s how I be rolling. [wink]

First, let’s talk about the tournament itself and break down the rules.

The DEF*MAX tournament will pit ten DEFIANTS, split into two different blocks, against their fellow blockmates in successive weeks. Each match will feature two DEFIANTS and at the end of the match, each participant will be awarded with a victory, draw, or a loss. For every victory, you receive two points, each draw is one point, and a loss is zero points.

[Pauses.]

Obviously, a victory or loss is pretty straight forward. You either win or lose. In the interest of ensuring each match is fair and square while we are in group play, there will be a fifteen minute time limit and if there is not a victor by the end of those fifteen minutes, a draw will be given to both DEFIANTS. Thus, DEFIANTS shouldn’t be looking to put on a classic match, but get in and out.

[That’s what Ty said!]

So, as I mentioned before, we will take these ten DEFIANTS and split them into two separate blocks! The five in each group will face each other person within their block once apiece. The one with the most points at the end of the group play will move into the finals match at… Maximum DEFIANCE! So now, it is time to reveal the DEFIANTS who will take place in the tournament and the blocks they’ve been assigned.

[She picks up a piece of paper.]

In Block A, you have “The God Beast” Mushigihara, the “Airship Pirate” Henry Keyes, the Original DEFIANT, Bronson Box, the “Queen of the Ring” herself, Lindsay Troy, and… the FIST of DEFIANCE… Eugene Dewey!

[We then switch shots to Charles Barkley and Kenny “The Jet” Smith.]

Charles Barkley:
Well, damn. Ya see, this is what we call, loaded. Like, you have no one turrible in this block.

Kenny “The Jet” Smith:
We are going to go downtown! This is like my ‘94-’95 Houston Rockets team! Hey Charles! I got two rings and you got none!

Charles Barkley:
You little bitch.

[We then cut back to Kelly Evans.]

Kelly Evans:
Well then. Now, in Block B, you have Samuel T. Turner, the DVD-hawking Curtis Penn, “The Ego Buster” Dan Ryan, “The Train Wreck” Frank Holiday, and the Southern Heritage Champion, David Noble!

[Over to Woody Paige from the Denver Post/Around the Horn]

Woody Paige:
You know I’ll be checking these schedules early and often.

[Kelly Evans smiles.]

Kelly Evans:
Now, normally, between each of our major events, we have four episodes of DEFtv. Because of this tournament and the fact that only four DEFIANTS can compete each week, we will be adding an extra show prior to Maximum DEFIANCE. We will be posting the full schedule on DEFIANCEWrestling.com, but I wanted to give you this teaser for our upcoming episode of DEFIANCE TV.

From Block B, we will see Frank Holiday going one on one against Samuel T. Turner and Curtis Penn squaring off against “The Ego Buster” himself, Dan Ryan! 

From Block A, we will see the Original DEFIANT, Bronson Box, in his first match since returning to DEFIANCE against “The God Beast” Mushigihara. And then, in our main event…

Lindsay Troy. One-on-One with… Eugene Dewey.

Why? Because like I said. I’m Kelly Evans, bitches.

[Fade. To. Black.]


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