DEFIANCE TV 40

[DEFIANCE Wrestling is...]

[An Exclusive Presentation]

[Only on HULU PLUS!]

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[GO!]

[A roaring crowd is heard.]

[Fade-in on The BAWS, Eric Dane and the underBAWS, Kelly Evans. They stand at the center of the ring, which rests in the center of DEFIANCE’s brand spanking new homebase, the DEFIANCE Wrestle-Plex. Surrounding them is 4,000 of the DEFIANCE faithful, filling every last seat in the house, and cheering their hearts out. Set between Dane and Kelly is a stand of some kind with a black velvet cover draped over the top of it. After allowing the fans their moment, Dane is handed a mic from Evans. When the roars of the crowd begin to fade, the BAWS does as he’s done a million other times.]

[He raises the mic and begins.]

Eric Dane:
You know we don’t get to do this all that often… Too many times a title change is marred in conspiracy, say some guy gets his cronie to climb a ladder in a ladder match and hand him down the belt, or some other guy appoints himself King of the World, or some other guy picks up a belt that fell out of the sky and calls it his own. You know how these things go.

[He gets a chuckling reaction; they do know how these things go.]

Eric Dane:
But tonight, we get to celebrate a man who put in the work to make it to the top of the mountain, who bled and sweat for this place so that there was no doubt in his ability or his credibility, and in the process made believers out of more than a few naysayers…

Angus:
Fine, yeah, whatever. I’m still gonna call him Mayberry.

Eric Dane:
Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight, in our new home, allow me to introduce to you a man who I had a hand in bringing up in this business, a man who has developed well past any of the initial hopes and dreams we had when he came bucking through the doors almost ten years ago, and a man who has cemented himself not only as a DEFIANCE mainstay, but as a professional wrestling Mega-Star…

[The lights dim.]

Eric Dane:
He is the Wild Bronco…

[The crowd buzzes…]

Eric Dane:
He is the NEW and UNDISPUTED Heavyweight Champion of the WORLD!

[Shit just got real.]

Eric Dane:
DUSTYYYYYYYYYYY GRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFITH!!!

[The drumbeat kicks in and the entire audience begins to stomp their feet in unison.]

♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey YEAH! ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey YEAH! ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey YEAH! ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey YEAH! ♫

[KISS’ “I Love It Loud”]

[The fans sing along with the opening chorus and then break out into roaring cheers as Dusty Griffith walks onto the stage, clad in his usual streetwear. Stopping at the edge of the ramp that leads down to ringside, Dusty plants his hands on his hips. He scans the crowd from right to left, taking in the sight and sound of 4,000 strong that fill DEFIANCE’s capitol building, then makes his way down to the ring.]

DDK:
It took a few years, but here he is, finally the World Champion.

Angus:
And he beat a guy who transformed himself from being a lame duck champion into, arguably, the best to ever carry the title. Now watch Mayberry flop on his ass right out of the gate.

DDK:
Somehow, I just knew you couldn’t help yourself.

Angus:
What can I say, Keebs, I’m consistent.

[Reaching ringside, Griffith takes a lap around the ring before ascending the stairs and climbing between the ropes. He approaches Dane and Evans and they all share a brief moment to exchange pleasantries. When that’s over, Dane and Evans return to their positions at the side of the display stand. Dusty stands aside as he rubs his hands together with an eager grin on his face while Dane and Kelly begin to remove the cover.]

[Lifting away the black velvet cover reveals the 20 pounds of jewel-encrusted gold and leather that represents the DEFIANCE World Heavyweight Championship. Dusty beams with pride as Dane and Evans lift the title up and present it to the new champ. Dusty approaches and slowly reaches out for the title belt and feels it weight resting in his hands. Dane nods approvingly and Dusty raises it up high to a roar from the audience.]

Angus:
I’ll tell you what, Keebs, the belt does look good on him.

DDK:
It certainly does, partner.

[The celebration doesn’t last as a sudden noise is heard from the public entrance side of the building where the center skybox that overlooks the entire arena resides. Dusty brings his arms down and turns to look up where the commotion is coming from. Dane and Evans also look to see the windows to the skybox open, Dane muttering with simmering annoyance. When the curtains inside the skybox part, everyone in the arena gets a look at who is up there and begin to boo ferociously at the sight of the Blood Diamonds.]

[The Sophisticate is joined as always by Katze and Corozzo, the bespectacled Jonny Booya and the Ego Buster himself Dan Ryan. White looks over to Corozzo, the seven footer pulling a microphone from his back pocket and handing it over to his employer. Ed stops and soaks in the reaction from the packed Wrestle-Plex crowd, the faithful wasting none of their breath reminding The Socialite just how little his presence is appreciated.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[The Bo$$ ignores the fans and addresses the two men standing down in the ring. Dusty is up in the nearest corner staring daggers up at the Skybox. Eric’s eyes track Dusty’s movement as he’s joined by Evans who exchanges a few words of annoyance at White’s rude interruption. Dane turns his eyes to Evans, not even acknowledging White’s latest ploy.]

Edward White:
Well, that was impressive. Ceremony for ceremony’s sake for your hand-picked champion. Yes, let’s all congratulate our new World Heavyweight champion Dusty Griffith. But all this isn’t about Griffith, is it Eric? Yes, I see you over there, I’d appreciate it if you’d look at me when I address you, MISTER DANE. Eyes front when the money behind your little circus is talking.

[Dane doesn't move an inch, still conversing with Evans.]

Edward White:
Fine, but you can hear me though. Oh yes you can. Look at this place, Eric! Look what you built! This wonderful shrine to everything wrestling, hell, let’s just say it. A monument to the company Eric built. My money, Eric. My funding made this possible. But there you stand, presenting that belt like it’s yours to give. Because God forbid you hand the man the belt in private and let him come out here and do all this himself. You love being in that ring, don’t you? Any chance you get to storm out here and be the old Eric Dane again, by God you take it, don’t you? Referee, enforcer, manager, owner, you’ve gone through the gamut.

[Ed pauses, holding up one finger.]

Edward White:
Save for one…

[Ed looks side to side as Ryan and company all join in with a little villainous laughter.]

Edward White:
And that’s becoming an active member of the DEFIANCE roster again, Eric my boy. Stepping out of the suit and back into those charming black spandex tights and competing again! What better to make the grand opening of this complex than something BIG!

[The fans erupt with roars of confused excitement. The very idea of having the opportunity to see the one and only Eric Dane return to the ring officially is almost too much to believe. Dane doesn't even flinch.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

DDK:
What did he just say?

Angus:
Oh Jesus, The BAWS let loose on the DEFIANCE roster? I mean, holy shit…

[I takes a moment to register, but this gets his attention as Dane’s brow arches in response, but he doesn’t acknowledge White. He and Kelly share a snicker and she says something obviously snide.]

DDK:
What is Edward White playing at here? What is his angle on this?

Angus:
Nothing good is my guess, Keebs.

[The Socialite waits for the crowd reaction to die down just a little before interjecting again.]

Edward White:
What’s wrong Eric? Is it the knee? Is it the other knee? Is it those two bulging discs you didn’t think anyone knew about? Is it the idea you’d be in there with men like Dan Ryan? Hungry young talents half your age like Eugene Dewey? Hell…

[Ed points directly at the NEW DEFIANCE World Heavyweight champion.]

Edward White:
What about him?! Your precious champion perched there above you. Eric Dane versus Dusty Griffith would sell a HELL of a lot of tickets! Not to mention buyrates from here to Japan!

[Dusty, whose eyes hadn’t left The Bo$$e$ Skybox since it opened, all of a sudden hazards a glance behind him at the former multi-time world champion and multi-time Hall of Famer he’s been sharing the ring with, seeing him again for the first time. Not just the BAWS Eric Dane… but “The Only Star” Eric Dane. The two men size each other up for just a moment before looking back skyward where a satisfied looking Edward White continues on.]

Edward White:
This is MY show, Eric. You ran this company through the desert like goddamned Moses on that ridiculous GRINDHOUSE tour and at the end of your journey you realized your people’s salvation was inevitably through ME.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Edward White:
Boo all you want, you all know its true. I CHOOSE to be here, ladies and gentlemen. When I say I’m a billionaire that’s not fluff, that’s not a wrestling gimmick, that’s plain and simple numbers. It’s facts. I fund companies all the time… “But Edward,” you may ask, “why then bother with wrestling at all?”

[The Sophisticate's lip curls behind his thick, black, well-groomed beard.]

Edward White:
Because ladies and gentlemen, never forget I was a wrestler before I was a billionaire. A Good. Wrestler. A good wrestler who was kicked around and held down and given not an inch in my years in the sport by men like you, Eric. Selfish, egomaniacle, cruel, shortsighted men. Do I have a chip on my shoulder? Absolutely I goddamn do. And getting the chance to finally put my business acumen to use making a man like you suffer? To take away the thing you’ve worked so hard to build?

[Ed lets loose a contented sigh. Corozzo nods and pats Ed supportively on the shoulder]

Edward White:
It’s the sort of satisfaction of money WELL earned and WELL spent. Helping you build this place, injecting myself legally into the corporate structure of DEFIANCE via my many many financial donations? Oh, Eric… it’s opened up so many fun legal loopholes to play in, old friend. My lawyers and I have been looking over the company’s records, they’re a mess by the way, and boy did we find a whopper. You see when we activate your existing performer’s contract… and you do have one. We all remember that little romp you had against Victor Mandrake years ago. In activating that contract your position as DEFIANCE match-maker falls, funny enough… to me.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Dane’s continued non-reaction starts to obviously bother White.]

Edward White:
Say something, damn you! I just took your damned job! I run this show now! I TOOK it from you and now I get to move you and that sanitarium you call a roster around this chess board each and every week live for the world to see. I have the power now, Eric! By a great many legal definitions I could send you a PDF of right now in fact, DEFIANCE WRESTLING EFFECTIVELY BELONGS TO ME!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO x1000

Angus:
The hell it does!

[The crowd is reeling; Eric Dane is out of power? Just like that? The cheers, boos, screams, and yelps are coupled together with murmur and whispers. When Dane moves he moves deliberately and with intensity; the microphone is back to his lips in a flash. Even across a sea of humanity and upward fighting the forces of gravity itself Dane’s gaze causes Ed White to backstep just a little bit. A fact the faithful don’t let White hide from the world.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Eric Dane:
Is that what you think, Eddy?

[Kelly steps aside and Dane paces a bit before stopping and pointing.]

Eric Dane:
You. Think….You can walk into My. Fucking. House, change all the locks, kick me out of the Master Bedroom, and make me sleep with the Dogs? All’a that? You think...you believe....lll because I let you put a new coat of paint on the House? MY HOUSE?

Maybe you think I don’t like my own dogs?

Maybe you think I ain’t got the keys to the secret back door under the front porch?

Maybe you think because you won the fuckin’ Lottery once that you’re smarter than everybody else on the planet...but let me tell you something you sniveling little old ass Clint Eastwood-looking, wish-you-had-a-Havana-but-all-you-could-find-was-a-Hav-a-Tampa-in-that-shoebox-you-call-a-humidor...you AREN’T smarter than Eric Dane, you WEREN’T smarter than me way back when I was “holding you down” by constantly never hearing of your scraggly ass while you mid-carded your way through promotions that paid me your salary to defend the World Title in, and you SURE as HELL aren’t smarter than me now when you think you’ve found a glaring loophole that I didn’t purposefully dangle right in front of your stupid stinking monocled fucking face.

[He grins, eyes wide, the skin covering his face turning a dark purple shade of red from intensity. Ed’s face looks like it’s trying to climb inside itself, his lips pursed, his chest heaving. Jane, Jonny, Nicky all try to reassure their payche… I mean, leader. Dan Ryan stands silently to the side, taking in every word that escapes Eric Dane’s lips. He looks at Edward White, then back toward the ring at Dane again.]

Jane Katze::
Now you just listen here, sir! Mr. White is recognized across the globe as a...

Eric Dane:
[mocking her voice] “Mr. White this, Mr. White that!” Shut your damn mouth! This ain't Breaking Bad and that fat tub of shit you work for sure as fuck ‘aint Bryan Cranston. Keep it shut or I’ll walk up these fans, climb in that box and shut it for you! You and that greasy dago tag team partner of yours need to keep down with the Troy Matthews and the Jake Donovan’s of the world, capiche? The name on the marquee is getting a little something off his chest, ‘kay Peaches?

[Jane is stunned and disgusted by the harsh words from The Only Star. Kelly Evans, who up to this point has stayed mostly silent can be heard pretty clearly on Eric’s microphone laughing it up after her man’s verbal evisceration of Jane Katze.]

Kelly Evans:
Yeah, so take that ya’ mouthy cunt!

[The crowd gets a kick out of this. Ed consoles his “personal assistant” as Dane returns his attention to the Money Man. Meanwhile, Dusty has taken somewhat of a backseat to enjoy the show going on in front of him; after all, it’s not every day you get to see Eric Dane sermonizing live.]

Eric Dane:
You think that any of that assorted pile of muscle guys and Jonny Booya give me a scare? OHES NOES I MIET GET PILEDRIVERED BY A CARTOON CHARACTER~! You think that I care one single solitary bit about Dan Ryan and his forty-two Independent World Titles? Jesus Christ, if we’re counting the indies and the territories then I’m an OVER 9000 time World Heavyweight Champion of the fuckin’ Universe, get it?

Dan Ryan is Victor Mandrake if he were a foot shorter, and I carved a Goddamned star inta that big bastard’s chest with a hatchet! DO YOU GET IT YET, EDWARD?

[He starts pacing heavily. Dan Ryan actually smirks.]

Eric Dane:
You think putting the biggest bad in the history of big bads back in the ring with a chip on his shoulder is some kind of bad for business? Or bad for me? The only thing I haven’t had for years is the satisfaction of beating a fucking lesson into the thick fucking skull of some wrestle-guy asshole who thinks because he works for me that he knows what’s best for himself or my business?

DO. YOU. FUCKING. SEE?

[The Only Star pauses to grin a wild, Cheshire smile. In the blink of an eye the emotion is almost completely subdued. The color drained from his face. All that is left are those eyes.]

Eric Dane:
Fine. Maybe you’ll understand action rather than words…

[Like a flash he turns.]

Angus:
What the-

[Kick.]

DDK:
Are you kidding me?

[Grab.]

Angus:
Say it ain’t so!

[Lift.]

DDK:
What could it mean?

[Hold.]

Angus:
Wait a second, this is FREAKING FUCKING AWESOME AND AMAZING! IT’S AMAZOME!

[Wait for it.]

DDK:
THE HUMANITY!

[Drop.]

*WHUMPH!*

[Crumple.]

Angus:
MAYBERRY IS DEAD!

DDK:
STARDRIVER! STARDRIVER!

Angus:
HIS NECK WENT SIDEWAYS THEN IT SNAPPED BACKWARDS AND I HEARD A POPPING NOISE AND I THINK ERIC DANE JUST KILLED HIS OWN WORLD CHAMPION!

[In a quick motion Dane rolls to a squatting position over the prone, yet completely still alive (see: just barely conscious) body of the World Champion. You can tell because of chest compression. He pulls Dusty’s head up for him to see, and no one else. Dusty, for his part, is watching the pretty birdies. Dane has the microphone in hand again.]

Eric Dane:
You think you can throw me off of my game like that?

Do some research, Eddo. Put that 20 pounds of gold on the line and reserve us a slot in the Main Event of a Pay-Per-View, and I’ll take the kid on. Hell, I’ll take the kid to places that Jason Ramsey forgot to tell him even existed back in Tenchu-do! Dark, bad places where dark, bad men do dark, bad things to each other. Do you get it yet, Ed?

You want me on the roster? I revel in it. Give me anyone. Give me everyone. But know that somewhere, sometime, waaaaaaaaaaaaay off on the other side of the sunset at the end of that line of guys… you just took a number, and now it’s just a matter of time, friend, before me and you get to have another of our nice discussions. Only this time, all the lawyers in all the lands of the world won’t stop me from tearing your heart out and shoving it down your throat, fatboy.

Angus:
FUCK THE FUCK YEAH! THIS IS… ITS JUST SO GLORIOUS! SHOULD HAVE SENT… A POET!

[The fans absolutely. Come. The. Fuck. Unglued. Eric drops the microphone and immediately rolls under the bottom rope and heads for the back like a goddamn boss. Business fuckin’ done. Kelly Evans, shocked at Dane’s abrupt exit clamors from the ring after her… employer? Her man? Her client? There’s a question now whether Kelly Evans even FITS in the new DEFIANCE power structure… and she knows it.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

[We cut back to the skybox where we find Edward White, upper lip twitching in red-faced frustration… This isn’t exactly the way he’d seen his bombshell dropping. But The Sophisticate is nothing if not magnanimous.]

Edward White:
You can’t make that match, Eric, that’s my job now. Don’t you get it? You… where are you going?  You son of a bitch, you get back here! We’re not done, damn you! I’m the boss now, I can make your life HELL… DO YOU HEAR ME DANE?! I BOOK THE MATCHES NOW, I'M THE BOSS, IM THE GODDAMN BOSS! YOU SON OF A… *pffft*

[Ed’s microphone feed is cut as Corozzo and Booya both hook and arm and try to calm their boss down before he says or books something he’s hasn’t thought through yet. Dan Ryan can be seen taking a deep exhausted sigh and looking down at Dusty Griffith just coming around. DA CHAMP is starting to be tended to by a small army of medics and producers before the Ego Buster turns and starts after his stablemates.]

[To the Booth!]

[The new home of Angus Skaaland and Downtown Darren Keebler, the hosts of the show, who are now setup in a proper commentators station. Think Monday Nitro back in the day, it's their own seprate staged area that is state of the art and safely away from the action in the middle of the arena.]

Angus:
What a way to christen the House that Da BAWS Built, Keebs!

DDK:
It sure is, and fans, as my broadcast partner has mentioned, we are here from the long rumored, finally confirmed DEFIANCE WRESTLE-PLEX!

Angus:
I like the House that Da BAWS Built, personally, so lets go with that.

DDK:
Sure thing, Angus...

Angus:
And look at our new digs, Keebs, I mean, just LOOK! We're living large now! Our own booth, no more risk of these KEVINS destroying our desk!

DDK:
It's certainly a great leap forward for us... and DEFIANCE Wrestling, speaking of which, we have a hell of a show tonight.

Angus:
Fine, fine, lets gets to the rassletauk! By the way, did you know we have a NEEEEEEEEW World Champion?

DDK:
We sure do, Angus, and it's not been a good start to Dusty Griffith's reign on top of the mountain that's he's been climbing for several years.

Angus:
Speaking of champions, we got almost all of them on the line tonight.

DDK:
Yes they are. The war over the Southern Heritage title continues between the LBC and the Big Damn Heroes when Tony Di Luca meets Wade Elliott in a rematch that is sure to be a hellacious fight.

Angus:
Hellacious fight, that's going to be a goddamn RRRAAASSSLLLEFYYYT!

DDK:
Eugene Dewey is also back in action, defending the FIST against Jake Donovan.

Angus:
Jay-zuss, somebody tell that fat nerd he can take a day off. I mean really, we and by we I mean me, do not want that grease painted monkey wearing the FIST of DEFIANCE, because Euge can't take five for one night after another brutal fight.

DDK:
And of course, in tonights main event...

Angus:
TEAMHOSSISINTHEHOUSE!!

DDK:
Yes they are and tonight, the champions are here and looking to get back to the task of being the World Trios Tag Team Champions now that their issues with Tyrone Walker seem to be over.

Angus:
Gawd I hope so, my heart can't take anymore of my favorites fighting each other!

DDK:
But that's not all, as we have another former star of PRIME, David Noble looks to make a first impression against the "Gonzo Goliath" Stockton Pyre, who fresh off a loss to his rival Frank Holiday.

Angus:
Who beat him with the greatest swerve ever! I totally didn't see Frank pulling that diary out like that! Oh and David Noble, what the hell, did Edward White buy out the rights to PRIME too?

DDK:
Or maybe they see DEFIANCE as the best promotion to ply their trade? Which is what, Jason Natas is looking to do when he locks horns with the Rich Mahogany, fresh off the biggest win of his career.

Angus:
Please, lets not bring that up. Women all around the world are still mourning the devastation to Romero Antiguas' package after Rich done squashed his junk like a grape... Still awesome, but dayumn, I think we're all still feeling it a night later.

DDK:
But before all of that, we kick tonight off with the debut of Jed Whitewood, who has drawn Eddie Dante's "God Beast" Mushigihara.

Angus:
So in other words, good bye Jed Whitewood, it was nice knowing you for the five minutes that you're going to spend here before Mush gets done with you.

DDK:
There's only one way to find out, so let's kick it on over to the Voice of DEFIANCE, Darren Quimbey...

[Cut to the ring.]

Darren Quimbey:
Ladies and gentlemen of NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA!

[From the brand shiny new DEFIANCE Interview Stage, let's take you over to two-thirds of the Big Damn Heroes.]

[This is where you cheer.]

RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Lindsay Troy and Tyler Rayne sit on the hood of a red rental sports car in the underground parking area of the DEFIANCE Wrestle-Plex, bullshitting about this and that. The growl of a big, loud engine perks their ears up, and down the parking lot’s ramp drives a big, black Chevrolet Silverado. The couple smiles as the big rig bellows, coming to a stop across from them. The engine kills, the door swings open, and out steps their compadre.]

Tyler Rayne:
I think I liked the ‘76 better, Country.

Wade Elliott: [Walking over.]
Yeah, but she ain’t been quite right since Hessian bounced me offa her a few times. How’s the evenin’ lookin’?

Tyler Rayne:
Real shiny.

Lindsay Troy:
They even sent us a welcome party.

[The Queen of the Ring motions her head over her shoulder. Wade looks up, and across the parking lot stands three gentleman that could only be partaking in Legitimate Business. The Bad Dog releases an amused grunt and keeps walking, The Golden Boy and The Queen taking his side.]

Wade Elliott:
We oughta say ‘hello,’ then.

[The three walk directly toward the elevators, and are soon upon the trio of Alceo Dentari, Vinny Rinaldi, and the Southern Heritage Champion, Tony “Two Hands.” Wade is first to speak up as they close in on talking distance.]

Wade Elliott: [To Di Luca.]
Good evenin’, champ.

Tony Di Luca:
Well it was a pretty good evening. Til’ recently, ya know?

Wade Elliott:
Well, hate t’break it to ya, but it ain’t gonna get much better.

Alceo Dentari:
Yeah? Yous got some bite ta back up that bark, Bad Dog?

Wade Elliott:
I’ll just tell yer chicken-shit partner here the same thing I told ‘im at the Pay-Per-View.

[The ‘Bama Bruiser turns back to Di Luca, good and close.]

Wade Elliott:
If yer plannin’ on keepin’ that belt again, then keep these two limp-wrists close by. ‘Cause you sure as hell ain’t man enough to keep it yerself.

[Di Luca keeps some fiery eyes locked on his opponent for the evening. Ready to spit some venom, or just snap and clobber the Blue Collar Brawler. Troy and Rayne keep a close eye on Dentari and Rinaldi, just in case that happens.]

[Instead, Di Luca smiles and gives Wade a hearty pat on the shoulder.]

Tony Di Luca:
You take care tonight, Wade, alright?

[With that, the LBC turn and Di Luca presses the call button for the elevators. The doors ding open immediately and the Italians walk into one of the lifts. The Big Damn Heroes are left to their own thoughts as the doors close.]

Tyler Rayne:
I do believe that man plans to hurt you, Country.

Wade Elliott:
Just one name on a long god-damn list.

[Troy chuckles and jabs the call button again. The second elevator’s doors open and the ‘Heroes leave the quiet parking lot in favor of what is likely to be a very loud arena.]

[Back over to ringside.]

[Meanwhile, in the ring…]

Quimbey::
Ladies and Gentlemen, our next match is scheduled for one fall!

[Cue “Love Man” by Otis Redding. Rich Mahogany bounds from the backstage area, more buoyant than ever, and skips down the ramp.]

Angus:
The man himself! The king of sleaze! The destroyer of Romero Antiguas’ genatalia! Here comes Rich Mahogany!

DDK:
Rich looks in great spirits tonight following his big pay-per-view victory over the narcissistic Mexican, but this certainly won’t be an easy contest.

Angus:
I doubt he cares, Darren. You know as well as I do that as long as there are a few fruity ladies in the front row, Rich is happy! What’s he carrying though?

[Sure enough, there’s a small, translucent bottle in Rich’s right hand as he bounces down to the ring, flashing sleazy smirks to every girl he passes. He soon gets to the ring and hops onto the apron, continuing with the unpleasant gyrations.]

Quimbey::

… introducing first! In the ring, from Austin, Texas, and weighing in at 210lbs… please welcome RICH MAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGAAAAAAANNNNNNYYYYYYYY!

[“Love Man” fades, and is immediately replaced by the thunderous downpour of High on Fire’s “Bloody Knuckles.” Soundtracked by perfectly-pugilistic entrance music, a bare-chested Jason Natas steps onto the ramp with a white towel thrown over his shoulder. The PRIMEate turned DEFIANT wastes little time in heading towards the ring, fully focused on the task ahead of him.]

DDK:
Here comes a man in-search of his second official win as a DEFIANCE combatant.

Angus:
And look! He’s facing an actual human being this time!

DDK:
… well… kind of.

Angus:
Well yeah, let’s be honest: Rich isn’t exactly Dan Ryan, but he can get the job done from time to time. Just ask Romero Antiguas’ manhood…

Quimbey::
… aaaaaaaand his opponent! Making his way to the ring from New York City, and weighing in at 260lbs, he is THE ANTI-SUPERSTAR… JASSSSOOONNNNNNNN NNNNNNAAAAAATTTTAAAAASSSSSS!

[Natas reaches the bottom of the ramp and climbs up the steps, eyeing Rich Mahogony curiously. He pauses on the outside and leaves his towel in the corner, before entering between the top and middle ropes. Jason’s music fades and his expression turns from puzzlement to complete revulsion as Rich squeezes gloop from his bottle and gleefully rubs it into his chest. He tosses the bottle aside and turns to the first lady he find in the crowd, pointing at her and offering a wink.]

DDK:
Jesus, is that baby oil?!

Angus:
Rich knows how to stay fresh for the ladies, kna’ mean?!

DDK:
No. No I don’t.

[Perhaps realising that he actually has a match to wrestle, Rich turns to Jason Natas who, to his surprise, has advanced several feet across the ring. He extends a greasy hand to the Pugilist, who, after a second of contemplation shakes it. Natas immediately regrets this decision and, appalled, rubs his hand clean on his denim cut-offs…]

DING! DING! DING!

[... before planting a boot square in Rich Mahogany’s thigh! Rich stumbles backwards, so Jason grabs his head and throws a knee into his gut, before bringing his elbow down across the back of Rich’s head. Still frowning, Jason pushes him to the mat.]

DDK:
Check the look on Jason Natas’ face, Angus: he has no idea what to make of his opponent tonight!

Angus:
Natas has wrestled in a ton of different places across the globe, but that’s only one Rich Mahogany! Welcome to DEFIANCE…

[Jason takes a few steps back, giving Rich time to recover to a knelt position, clutching his head. The greased-up ACX member flashes Jason a quick “wtf bro?!” look, but Natas is having none of it and responds by beckoning Rich forward with both hands. Rich stands up as Natas reverts to his standard wrestling/Muay Thai hybrid stands and, leading with his left leg, comes forward. Mahogany sidesteps and looks to initiate a grappling exchange, but Natas cuts the angle off and jabs Rich square on the jaw. A second jab lands flush before Natas comes inside with an elbow strike that budges Rich back into the corner.]

DDK:
Once again Jason Natas’ crisp striking game comes into effect. I’m not sure there’s a single DEFIANT who can match this guy’s technique on the feet, Angus.

Angus:
Yeah, that’s all very well, but how good is he with the ladies?

DDK:
I can’t imagine he’s too concerned about that at the moment.

Angus:
Maybe he should be, Darren, because he’s in there with the goddamn GOAT at the moment.

[For a moment, Natas abandons his muay thai training and throws a series of wild lefts and rights into Mahogany’s torso, before whipping his opponent across the ring. Rich staggers out of the opposite corner, and walks right into a strong shoulder block from the lumbering Anti-Superstar.]

DDK:
Down goes Rich!

[Though shaken, Mahogany rises relatively quickly, only to step right into Natas’ woodchipper kickboxing offence again. A leg-kick stops Rich’s approach, while a left jab and a straight right stumble him. Edging forward, Natas peppers Mahogany with another couple of jabs, before pulling his right leg back and slamming it into Rich’s side with huge force.]

”OHHHHHHHHH!”

Angus:
OHMYGAWD! What a huge liver kick!

DDK:
Natas maybe just missed the liver there -- if you kick a man’s liver with that level of power, the match is over -- but that was a helluva kick!

Angus:
They’re not fucking around when the big this dude’s striking up! I feel bad for Rich, but wow… such hossery!

[Jason pulls the pained Mahogany to his feet and clamps his hands around his waist. He pulls Rich into the air and drives him into the mat.]

DDK:
Back suplex! And now the cover…

...1!

...2!

[No! Rich gets the shoulder up. Natas climbs back up and takes a moment to wipe sweat from his brow, before locking his eyes on Mahogany once again. He lets Rich sit-up, and that’s when he postures-up again. A kick lands just north of the shot that had previously floored Rich, and another soon follows. Natas kneels, grabs his opponent’s head and looks for an elbow, until Rich Mahogany’s forearm flies between Jason’s legs.]

”OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Angus:
Sweet Jesus! Rich Mahogany, Manhood Crusher Extraordinaire, strikes again!

DDK:
Natas left and opening and Rich, out of desperation, took full advantage. Say what you want about Rich Mahogany, but his ring awareness has always been top notch.

Angus:
He was taking a beating left, right and centre, Darren, but not anymore. A good old-fashioned nut shot will take any man down! Except Lance Armstrong, maybe…

DDK:
Wow, Angus. Just wow…

[Rich is still reeling from some of the heavy blows he’s absorbed and thus takes some time to fully recover. When he does, however, he finds Natas grounded by the type of pain only a man can truly relate to. Rich sets upon his opponent, pounding away with hard right hands. He stops to kiss his fist after a few shops, before driving it straight into Jason’s skull and hopping to his feet. Pouting, Rich singles-out a lucky lady in the front row and points to his crotch, drawing a collective cringe from every male in the building.]

Angus:
Rich Mahogany is at-large and in-charge of this match, Darren! Who’d have thought it?!

DDK:
Don’t speak too soon…

[Natas, still hurting from the low blow, shakes his skull’s pain away and grimaces at the sight of his opponent’s crotch-thrusting gesticulations. He waits on one knee for Rich to turn around, and when he does…]

DDK:
Spinebuster!

[Having driven his opponent into the mat, Jason draws his hand across his own tattooed torso. He glances at his glistening hand, snarling.]

Angus:
I don’t think Jason’s too happy about the whole baby oil situation…

[Realising that he’s now absolutely covered in Rich’s grease, Natas lets out a very audible grunt and stomps across the ring to retrieve his towel. Jason hurriedly cleans himself of the oil, and, towel still in-hand, walks back across the ring to where Rich is using the ropes to pull himself up. Instead of attacking, however, Jason throws the towel into Rich’s arms.]

Natas:
Sort this shit out!

[Rich’s reaction? To throw the towel to the mat, raise his hands above his head, and gyrate his hips.]

[Jason’s? Roaring elbow.]

DDK:
Someone’s had about enough of Rich’s act here, Angus!

[Jason turns the pressure up. He stomps on the fallen Mahogany a couple of times, before hauling him up and pushing him into the corner. A couple of mudhole stomps follow, dropping Rich to the bottom turnbuckle, before Natas takes a couple of steps back and charges in with a knee to Mahogany’s chest! Pulling Rich away from the ropes, Jason hooks the leg.]

…1!

…2!

[No! Rich kicks out again.]

DDK:
Big move from The Anti-Superstar, Angus! Jason is in firm control of Rich Mahogany, and is building towards an opportunity to end things.

Angus:
Maybe, but Rich is far from out of it. A man of his skillset always has ways to get back into a match…

DDK:
By “skillset,” you mean: “willingness to completely disregard the rulebook and kick a man’s groin”?

[Jason gets up immediately, dragging Rich with him. He whips his greasy foe across the ring and, on the rebound, brings him crashing down with a huge flapjack! Rich rolls into his back…]

DDK:
Elbow drop from Natas!

Angus:
To the ropes…

[Natas comes back off the ropes and drops a leg across Mahogany’s chest. Rich immediately recoils as Natas pauses for a breather. Standing up again, Jason points to his knee then points to the squirming Rich Mahogany. The fans cheers in response, remembering his satisfyingly violent finish of Taylor Smith a few weeks ago.]

DDK:
The Pugilist is teeing-up a Facebreaker for Rich Mahogany! This could be it…

Angus:
Look alive, Rich!

[Jason sets the trap, biding just enough time for Rich to expose his face, before bounding forward as quickly as his bulky frame will allow. Rich sees him coming, though, and ducks beneath Natas’ outstretched knee. Having not fully committed to the Busaiku Knee Kick, Jason stays on his feet, but his turn is slow, handing Rich the chance to hop-up and jab two fingers into Jason’s eyes.]

Angus:
See! I told you: Rich always has something-up his sleeve, especially after his win over Antiguas!

DDK:
Every time it looks like Jason Natas is on the way to victory, rich Mahogany cheats his way back into the match. Literally the only effective offence that Rich has launched has come through low-blows and eye pokes.

Angus:
Pragmatism wins matches, Darren! Jason Natas was once one of the dirtiest wrestlers in the business, yet he keeps getting bitch-slapped by Rich’s willingness to do whatever it takes. Beautifully ironic, isn’t it?!

[Benny Doyle rightly admonishes Rich, separating him from Natas, much to Rich’s chagrin. Natas leans on the ropes, wincing in pain as his vision slowly recovers. Unfortunately for him, Doyle’s finished with Mahogany before Natas is ready to go again. Rich clubs Natas’ back, then kicks the back of his knee, slumping the New Yorker down onto the middle rope.]

Angus:
Things are looking a tad -- ahem -- ropey for Jason Natas here!

[Rich has Jason’s neck across the rope. Pulling back on the top rope for leverage and planting a boot behind Jason’s head, Rich, for lack of better phrasing, chokes the living daylights out of The Anti-Superstar.]

DDK:
JESUS CHRIST! Rich Mahogany is gonna make Jason Natas turn purple!

Angus:
This is how you beat a man like Natas: get the hell out of his wheelhouse and drag him into your own!

[Doyle is quick to come across, but Rich swats him away at first. The referee, however, is insistent on upholding the rules, and quickly gets in his face again. Rich reluctantly withdraws his boot and steps away. Jason rolls onto his back: the choke had only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to drain most of the oxygen from his body.]

DDK:
That might be enough! Rich makes the cover!

...1!

...2!

[No! Jason powers his shoulder up.]

DDK:
Rich Mahogany almost stole victory from Jason Natas there! Every single bit of his offence has come from underhand tactics tonight, while Natas clearly came here to wrestle.

Angus:
… and look who’s on-top at the moment! Rich has had the tar beaten out of him, sure, but he could be about to put the newcomer away here…

[Rich throws his hair back and climbs to his feet. Smirking broadly, he shimmies across the ring and throws an arm in the air, drawing hostility as Jason Natas rolls onto all fours. Mahogany notices this and walks back across, but he’s already given Jason too much time. Natas leaps at Mahogany’s legs, tackles him down to the mat, before throwing a volley of hard right hands into his skull! His opponent suitably subdued, Natas drags Rich up by the neck…]

DDK:
Natas whips Rich across the ring, picks him up, and uh-oh! Here comes the fallaway slam!

[With a huge roar, Jason tosses Rich overhead and rolls into a knelt position. The crowd cheer their appreciation as the new DEFIANT regains his breath and runs a finger across his throat.]

DDK:
Jason’s signalling for the end.

Angus:
Here comes that Facebreaker!

[Backing off, Jason stalks Rich Mahogany as if he were a helpless foal. There was still enough sense left in Rich to bloke Natas’ first attempt at finishing, but not this time. As soon as Rich is suitably seated, Natas takes-off…]

Angus:
FACEBREAKAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[The Busaiku Knee Kick nearly leaves a dent in Rich’s face. Jason hooks the leg.]

...1!

...2!

...3!!!

DDK:
Boom! Just like that, Jason Natas is 2-0 in DEFIANCE!

[Jason lets Benny Doyle hold his hand aloft as “Bloody Knuckles” pumps through the speakers again. He closes his eyes and soaks everything in, savouring every moment of the night’s atmosphere.]

Quimbey::
Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner… “THE ANTI-SUPERSTAR” JASSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNAAAAATTTTTTTTTAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Angus:
It looked light Rich might have wormed his way back into the match, but Jason turned out the lights in spectacular fashion. He’s not the flashiest guy in the world, but God, this guy hits hard! I’m a fan.

DDK:
A few rule-bending moments aside, that was another dominant performance from the former PRIME man! He’s not the archetypical blue chipper, not by a long shot, but he can make a huge impact in DEFIANCE if he stays focused.

Angus:
Lets keep it grounded, Darren: you know I’m a Rich Mahogany guy, but you know as well as I do that Rich tends to get a little… “distracted,” when wrestling. And let’s not even mention the shlub that Natas wrestled the other week…

DDK:
Of course, Angus, but we can only judge him against who he’s faced thus far, and he’s passed both tests with flying colours. I, for one, look forward to seeing more from the Anti-Superstar!

[Cut.]

[Sam Turner Jr. stands beside Lance Warner in front of an oversized black and red DEFIANCE Wrestling logo. Sam’s dressed in a t-shirt and overalls while Lance outshines him in a well groomed black suit and white shirt w/ multi-colored tie.]
 
Lance Warner:
How are you Sam?
 
Sam Turner Jr.:
Well, ya know Lance, I was thinkin’ of Defi’nce Rasslin’ some months back when my contract was expirin’. I sat down with the ‘Only Star’, himself Eric Dane an’ I told him all the feelin’s an’ emotions I’s havin’ about my career. I was really thinkin’ of retirin’. I was goin’ to go back to the hills of Kentucky but I listened to him, I drank tha kool aid an’ hit the cyanide. I bought into every letter that came outta his mouth so I re-signed.
 
[Sam inhales deeply.]

Sam Turner Jr.:
When I re-signed some months back, I was promised some things that did an’ didn’t come true.
 
Lance Warner:
What kind of things?
 
Sam Turner Jr.:
Welp, for one I’s promised a shot at the South’rn Her’tage title, which I got. I’s promised more money, which I got. I’s promised more bookin’s, which I kinda got, not matches but bookin’s to be at the show. That was all well an’ good.

[Sam shakes his head in discuss.]
 
Lance Warner:
That sounds like a good thing to me Sam. What’s wrong with that?
 
Sam Turner Jr.:
Nothing’s wrong with that, Lance. You see though the part that runs through me like Mexican food in my bowel was that I was left off the ‘MERICA PPV’.
 
Lance Warner:
What are you going to do?
 
Sam Turner Jr.:
No idea, I guess one of two things like it, an’ nothing.
 
[Sam hangs his head a little and looks at the ground for a few seconds before lifting it back up.]
 
Lance Warner:
Oh, I see. What are...
 
[Sam just walks off leaving Lance holding his microphone.]

Lance Warner:
Well okay then.

[As Sam rounds the corner, he bumps into Jake Donovan who’d been listening to the interview. Instead of stopping or apologizing like he normally would, Sam continues walking, only to be chased by Jake, who’s more puzzled about Sam’s mindset than his match against the FIST Champion Eugene Dewey.]
 
[b]Jake Donovan:[/b]
Sam… Hey… Sam!
 
[Sam stops and turns around looking Jake face to face.]
 
Jake Donovan:
You can’t really believe...
 
[Sam shrugs him off and continues walking, leaving Jake with a questioning look on his face.]

Jake Donovan:
What’s the deal?

[Back to the ring.]

[The crowd started to turn their attention to the DEFIAtron and with the music starting to play, they were a bit confused, having never heard the theme before.  The song of choice is Anvil’s “Tag Team” and when two words flash on the screen, the crowd starts to boo LOUDLY...]
 
[TEAM.]
 
[HOSS.]
 
DDK:
Looks like we’re going to be hearing from DEFIANCE’s World Trios Champions, Team HOSS!  We all heard the news that tonight they’d be putting out an open challenger for their belts tonight… perhaps they’re here to address that?
 
Angus:
OUR HOSS OVERLORDS ARE HERE TO SAVE US FROM ALL THAT IS FLIPPY-DOO AND SUCKY!
 
[Despite HOMECOMING not having been that great of a night for two of Team HOSS’s members, the monsters of the Trios division start to walk out one at a time, dressed rather sharply for the occasion.  Capital Punishment is decked out in a dark brown Armani suit and a red tie, looking rather dapper with his belt draped over his shoulder.  Behind him, Aleczander the Great comes out wearing brown slacks, a bright blue dress shirt with the sleeves cut off to show off his awesome pecs and a tie.  Bringing up the rear is Angel Trinidad also dressed up in a nice blue sport coat and dark blue big-and-tall dress jeans.]
 
Angus:
I wonder what the occasion is… oh, boy, look at Keeling.
 
[Making his way out last is Junior Keeling, rather slow and wearing a neck brace - courtesy of taking the Ol’ Dirty Buster from Ty Walker at HOMECOMING.  Slowly and with help from Angel Trinidad, the massive trio walk to the ring with their manager while Junior stares out angrily to the crowd.  One by one, the monsters enter the ring and head inside while Junior slowly starts to limp into the ring.]
 
DDK:
Keeling is wearing the wounds of his five-minute war with Ty Walker!  For MONTHS, the former member of Hookers ‘N’ Blow has been looking for the chance to finally get his hands on him after Team HOSS put his other teammates out of action and some say stole the Trios Titles.  After he beat Angel Trinidad in a No Disqualification match at HOMECOMING, he did just that!
 
Angus:
You bet your ass that Ty got his revenge. Now he can go on his merry way and I don’t have to come out here and play Sophie’s Choice every week between THE HOSS OVERLORDS and MUH BOI TAI!
 
[The music cut as Junior Keeling holds onto his neck brace with rage in his eyes.  He listens to the crowd start a chant to tell him how they really felt about his crew.]
 
TEAM HOSS SUCKS!
TEAM HOSS SUCKS!
TEAM HOSS SUCKS!
TEAM HOSS SUCKS!
 
Junior Keeling:
SHUT THE FUCK UP!  SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR YOUR DEFIANCE WORLD TRIOS CHAMPIONS!
 
[The reaction grows even louder with negativity as Angel Trinidad covers the ears of Junior Keeling, trying to shield their spokesman from the hate-filled reactions. Aleczander starts jaw-jacking with men in the front row while Capital Punishment remains stoic as ever.  Keeling tries to calm himself down a little bit before he continues.]
 
Junior Keeling:
I hope that you’re a happy man, Ty Walker. But far as I’m concerned, I’m done with you and Team HOSS is done with you.  You are less than zero in our world now.  You got one lucky win at HOMECOMING, but did you really win anything?  Last I checked… Team HOSS is still standing.  Team HOSS are the only Trios Team in DEFIANCE that can still claim to be UNDEFEATED as a group!  So far as I’m concerned, HOMECOMING meant nothing!
 
DDK:
He can spin things however he wants… fact remains that he got beat.
 
Angus:
Not to knock Ty… I would NEVER do that… we tight and all.  But Junior is right in that regard. Team HOSS are still the champions!
 
[The smile slowly starts to return to Junior Keeling’s face as the Superagent and Voice of Team HOSS continues while the monsters each flash their belts.]
 
Junior Keeling:
Now our focus remains on making these belts mean something and showing that Team HOSS are the most dangerous force this place has ever seen! This trios division has NEVER come across anybody as dominant as my clients!  They have destroyed EVERY single team that has ever crossed our paths.  TexMex Holiday had their asses so bad that they broke up.  The same fate befell Sam Horry and Ryan Matthews and now they’re on the side of a milk carton somewhere.  Those sex-starved idiots, ACX, tried and they failed, too! You, sir, in the front row, can you name a team that has been as dominant as the DEFIANCE Trios Champions?
 
[Before a portly man in the front row can even answer, Aleczander takes the microphone and barks.]
 
Aleczander:
FUCK NO, YA CAN’T, YA WANKER!
 
Junior Keeling:
Thank you, Aleczander! Nobody can. It hasn’t been seen before!  Nobody has challenged them for these belts.  These belts say that they’re better than The Big Damn Pop Culture Power Hour, our three belts say we’re better than the LBC’s measly little ONE belt, and they’re better than the rest of these no-names in the division wishing they could be a TENTH as great as Team HOSS are now!  I’m tired of my guys not getting a challenge from this roster and Team HOSS are getting bored with the morsels being fed to them for these belts.  That’s why tonight, DEFIANCE’s Lord and Savior, Edward White…
 
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
 
Junior Keeling:
…Has allowed me to establish an open challenge for the DEFIANCE World Trios Tag Team Titles TONIGHT!  We’ve challenged ANY three people in the world to come out here and try their luck and fail… all you’ll be doing tonight is helping Team HOSS set a record! Tonight, after we destroy whoever is dumb enough to step to us, Team HOSS will set the record for most successful defenses of these belts! And then you’ll ALL know that we mean bus…
 
[Cue dat groovy bass riff.]
 
DDK:
Angus, did someone get signed that we weren’t told about?
 
Angus:
Beats me… Could be…
 
[“Higher Ground” by Red Hot Chili Peppers.]
 
[With everyone’s attention turned towards the entrance, Keeling begins to simmer, but when that Buckwheat afro wearing sumbuck named Tyrone Walker steps out, the super agent of Team HOSS begins to fume.]
 
Angus:
MUH BOI TAI!
 
DDK:
So much for your peace of mind, because it looks like Walker isn’t done with Team HOSS afterall.
 
[Angus swoons because of this, but his day continues to get worse as Ty is joined by two gentlemen and a lady, as Jake Donovan comes up on Walker’s left and Troy Matthews with Saori Kazama take up his right flank.]
 
Angus:
Awwww-mang, I thought that was just a nightmare, but I guess Ty is really going forward with the Flippydoo Express.
 
DDK:
Look on the bright side, partner, at least they have Ty Walker… And you don’t hate Troy Matthews or Saori Kazama.
 
Angus:
And a whole lot of Jake Donovan! There are no silver linings where he is concerned.
 
DDK:
Always an optimist, folks.
 
[As the song really kicks in, the three make their way down towards the ring with Kazama trailing slightly. Jake and Troy give in to the demands for attention from the fans along the way, Ty however doesn’t let his sight deviate from his old pals in the ring. As the crew gets to the ring, Ty climbs up and then slings himself over the top rope and fakes a lunge at Keeling when he lands on his feet, which causes his nemesis to scurry behind Team HOSS for protection. Ty snickers as he’s joined by Troy and Jake, who dive in under the bottom rope, while Kazama stays on the outside where she takes up a position at one of the corners. Keeling looks to see that Ty was faking and fumes some more, meanwhile Ty reaches back and pulls a mic from the pocket of his pants. Making sure it’s on, he’s about to begin, but is cut off.]
 
Junior Keeling:
No! No more chances for you! You said you...
 
[Ty flinches, which makes Keeling flinch again, cowering behind the wall of human destroying trios excellence that are his boys, which gets some laughter from the crowd at the “super agent’s” expense. Ty smirks and then begins.]
 
Tyrone Walker:
Oh yeah, I say a lot of things, Jun… I mean a lot, like “of course, I love you...” and “no officer, I didn’t…” and “but I’m not the father…” And sometimes I even mean those things that I say, like when I said that I was done with all of you mothafuckas over here. Then y’all just gotta be comin’ out to the ring, talkin’ like yer some kinda immortal, when I already done did proved ain’t none a that bullshit is true.
 
[Ty eyes Angel, giving him a head nod.]
 
Tyrone Walker:
Ain’t that right… kid?
 
[Angel seethes with a young man’s bravado and makes like he’s going to get in Ty’s face, but Keeling is quick to ignore his healthy fear of Walker in order get around front of Angel, holding him back.]
 
Tyrone Walker:
And now all this business about needing challengers?
 
[At this Junior turns around and eyes the trio that stands before the almighty Team HOSS.]
 
Junior Keeling:
Where? I don’t see any challengers…
 
[He turns to all three of his men.]
 
Junior Keeling:
Do you guys see any challengers around here?
 
[They all nod a “no”.]
 
Junior Keeling:
I mean, I’m looking everywhere, but I’m sure as hell not seeing one. goddamn. challenger… What I do see is, is a couple of losers, some dragon lady hag, and an old bastard that doesn’t know when to fucking quit.  Hookers ‘N’ Blow couldn’t stop us and neither can any of you when you haven’t even HAD a match as a team.  So your request for a title shot… DENIED.
 
V.O. Songomi Tsunami:
I’m going to ignore that bit about a dragon lady, Keeling, but I couldn’t help overhearing something about not seeing any challengers?
 
[Songomi walks through the curtains, a microphone in one hand and a kendo stick balanced over her other shoulder.  Behind her, just in case anyone was thinking of getting aggressive, is the large figure of Ryushin Zongetsu, flanked by El Serpenti and Crimson Star. The four head down to the ring, as Songomi keeps talking.]
 
Songomi Tsunami:
Ima, anata wa baka. (Now then, you moron).  You really haven’t actually sought a challenger, have you Mr. Keeling?  You were more concerned with grinding your proverbial boot into Tyrone Walker’s defeated head, and you did that until he got up and began round two. I have to compliment you on the new look by the way, it really does a lot to add some size to the matchstick that you call a neck.
 
[Keeling clutches his neck as Team HOSS shout at the fans to stop laughing. ]

Angus:
Matchstick? Who in the does this chick think she is? How dare she talk to the Superagent of Team HOSS like that!
 
DDK:
The manager and spokesperson for the Crimson Dragon Clan.

Angus:
Really? Well, thank you Captain Obvious!  

[Once the three masked men reach the ring they quickly climb into the ring, as Songome climbs the steps. Crimson Star parts the ropes allowing Songomi to climb into the ring. As she does Ryushin Zongetsu crosses his arms and stares straight at Angel Trinidad. Serpenti climbs the turnbuckles and sits down on the top one, right behind Ryushin.]
 
Songomi Tsunami:
But while Tyrone Walker may not know when to quit or may have no need to quit….
 
[Songomi looks at Tyrone Walker and raises her eyebrow inscrutably.  It could mean “do you know when to quit?” or “I am interested in experiencing the Blackaconda firsthand” or even “I bet you wonder what this means noob.” Which is cut off quickly, as Crimson Star plants himself firmly in between Walker and Songomi.]
 
Songomi Tsunami:
I’m forced to agree with Junior Keeling.  Your new team has yet to actually wrestle as a trios team.
 
[Walker and co. frown, but it’s a valid point spoken reasonably.]
 
Songomi Tsunami:
The Crimson Dragon Clan, on the other hand, have just rid DEFIANCE of the Osaka Street Cutters, much like how when Keeling and Team HOSS tried to rid DEFIANCE of H-N-B, they weren’t able to finish the job. Mr. Keeling what you have in front of you, is a team of champions. El Serpenti; a many time World Champion in Mexico.

[The crowd cheers as Serpenti stands up, points to himself with his thumbs, followed by a motion of a belt around his waist.]

Songomi Tsunami:
Crimson Star; A long running and many time World Champion in Japan!  

[Crimson Star thrust both of his fist into the air, and he nods his head agreement with Songomi.]

Songomi Tsunami:
Than “The Dragon” Ryushin Zongetsu; A many time World Tag Team Champion in Japan.

[Ryushin runs his thumb across his throat, and then returns to his arms crossed pose.]

 Songomi Tsunami:
So. Mr. Keeling, with the Big Damn Heroes and the Legitimate Businessmen’s Club battling each other over a singles title, that leaves the Crimson Dragon Clan with more claim to a title shot than any other trio in DEFIANCE!

[A scattering of cheers break out in the crowd and a few CDC chants break out as well.]
 
DDK:
They could make an argument for the title shot tonight.  They did come out victorious at HOMECOMING.
 
Angus:
We could make an argument too, if we had a third guy, Keebs.  But are they really ready for Team HOSS?
 
[Junior Keeling starts to grow tired by this point of the interruptions.]
 
Junior Keeling:
Maybe the whole lot of you are confused about what this is… this is us telling you that we want to be CHALLENGED for these belts.  This isn’t a charity. A team that hasn’t even HAD a match as a team… a team that has had ONE match... those aren’t challengers.  Those are morsels to Team HOSS. So to you and your… ahem… Clan, Ms. Tsunami, your request is also DENIED.  Why don’t you get us an ESTABLISHED team and maybe I’ll consider…
 
[MULTIPLE BURSTS OF STATIC on the DEFIAtron. The arena lights flick off, enveloping the crowd and ringside in pitch blackness. On the screen, in white words a graphic reads on a black matte “Brought to you by the Pfizer Corporation.”]
 
Angus:
Awh lame! Are we just a bunch of product shills now?
 
[“Happy Go Sucky Fuck” by Die Antwoord blares over the PA system. The words “Take the Blue Pill” flash on screen, interspliced with a large blue pill on the DEFIAtron. They swap back and forth to the beat of the music.]

♫ We live the life we love
 -- we love the life we live ♫
♫ We live the life we love
 -- we love the life we live ♫

[Black video matte, and then STROBE LIGHTS of various colors from the stage. The words “Team V.I.A.G.R.A.” flash off and on over the DEFIAtron as Mary-Lynn Mayweather steps out from the back. She wears her trademark emerald glasses which match the pendant beneath her neck. Otherwise, from her red hair to her red skirt suit and her ruby red heels, the Tiny Attorney wore and shown a fiery spirit. She slaps her hand against the clipboard.]
 
DDK:
No way. This is a coup!
 
Angus:
I don’t get it. Do we all get free Viagra? Cause I don’t NEED it, but the bitches love it.

♫ We live the life we love
 -- we love the life we live ♫
♫ Don’t need no one fucking up our shit
 ♫

[A man wearing collegiate wrestling headgear, and a blue / white bordered singlet steps out from the back, playing a Nintendo 3DS. His tights have an odd bulge on their sides, as TONY DAVIS doesn’t look up from his game.]
 
DDK:
Oh please, oh please, oh please.
 
Angus:
Are you soliciting your high school sweetheart on prom night D-bag?
 
DDK:
Please make it – IT IS SO!
 
[As Ninja’s verse starts, JACK HARMEN steps out from the back, and stands front and center between the two. He wears a t-shirt that has a silhouette version of himself extending two hands. In one hand, a red pill, the other, a blue. The text “Take the Blue Pill” surrounds it on top and bottom. He turns and points to his back, where the “Team VIAGRA” logo resides encased in said blue pill. But just above it, the ever present “DEFIANCE” logo. Harmen turns to Davis and Mayweather, smiles, and says one word before the trio SPRINT to ringside. The strobe lights FOLLOW them down the ramp way and to the surrounding ring. Harmen slaps as many extended hands as he makes his way completely around the ring. Tony stumbles as he hits ringside, catches himself before he falls, and then slides in under the bottom ring.]
 
DDK:
This is Team VIAGRA, Angus. VIAGRA!
 
Angus:
No, I get the joke. It’s just a little dated.
 
DDK:
That’s because they’ve been Team VIAGRA for almost fifteen years! They were once called the greatest trio PRIME had ever seen.
 
Angus: [Sarcastically]
Oh, well, that changes EVERY-thing.
 
[Mayweather rushes over to the timekeeper's table and grabs the microphone. She taps it once, as Harmen climbs to the top turnbuckle. Harmen throws up a devil horn taunt before Mayweather tosses him the mic. Mayweather turns and smiles at both Angus and DDK.]
 
Angus:
That smile was directed at me, by the way.
 
DDK:
How could you tell?
 
Angus:
Like you could get a woman to look at you, yet alone smile.
 
[Harmen raises the microphone to his lips as Mary-Lynn climbs up the ringsteps to hoots and hollars. She looks playfully offended as she gracefully enters the ring. At ringside, Capital Punishment is being held back by Angel from storming toward a confused and disinterested Davis. The house lights turn back on and VIAGRA stands united alongside the CDC, Walker and Co, and Team HOSS. The ring is CROWDED son.]
 
Jack Harmen:
HHHEEEEEEE-LLLLO DEFIANCE!
 
[The crowd roars in approval, and gradually a chant of…. a chant breaks out.]

WE’VE GOT BONERS! *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*
WE’VE GOT BONERS! *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

Angus:
God bless the DEFIAfans.

[Harmen hops off the top rope steps up to Team HOSS. Tony Davis is hunched in a neutral corner, quietly tapping away at a Kirby game on his 3DS as Cappy wants to rush and tear his head off.]
 
Jack Harmen:
Haven’t heard that one before. I like it! So Team HOSS wants a CHALL-ONGE, eh? Bet you’ve heard of us, right? Team VIAGRA… one of, if not, nah, DEFINITELY SO… THEEEE greatest living threesomes this sport has SEEEEEEN! No reason to say one of the longest running trios in this sport don’t deserve a CRACK at Mr. Walking Concussion and the baby faced douchebags he calls partners, right? Hell, we’ve been freebirding and freeballing since the NINETIES!
 
[Mary-Lynn Mayweather walks up to Keeling and hands him a thick stack of papers that resemble a bible. Keeling almost drops them to the mat as he’s handed them, fumbling.]
 
Mary-Lynn:
As you can see there, that’s a copy of our contract with DEFIANCE officially making VIAGRA a part of the touring roster. Underneath in subsection 134 paragraph C column 3 under amendment forty three point five ninety-one, is our request for a Trios Championship match. All it needs it your John Handcocks.
 
[Davis snickers. Cappy rushes toward Davis but Angel holds him back, not sure why Capital Punishment has suddenly surged to life with fury. Keeling just stares at VIAGRA funny, and now purposely drops the contract to the mat.]
 
Jack Harmen:
Well, that ain’t smart. Or are you suffering from early onset arthritis? I didn’t think it was contagious but enough time around that walking fossil [points to Cappy], anything is possible.

[Before Junior Keeling can even muster up a response to the outrageous spectacle that Team VIAGRA’s debut has already brought, Capital Punishment snatches the microphone from his spokesman and glares at Harmen and Mary… but especially Davis.]

Capital Punishment:
NO.  NO.  NO.  FUCK NO.  

[The members of Team VIAGRA, the CDC and Walker and Co. watch on as The IWO Legend bursts to life with the most emotion that has even been seen from him since being a part of DEFIANCE. Keeling seems confused, but Cappy keeps an icy stare on Team VIAGRA. Harmen turns to Davis and mouths “Can you believe this guy?” which Davis doesn’t even notice, busy creating supernova Kirby on his 3DS.]

Capital Punishment:
I have not worked this hard and come this far to let any of YOU come into my home and fuck with anything that I’ve built. This isn’t the IWO any more, this is DEFIANCE. I am not going to sit here and even entertain the thought of giving any of THESE fuckers a Trios title match. I’ll tell them no for you, Keeling. N. O. NO.

DDK:
A definite answer from the normally calm and quiet Capital Punishment.
 
Angus:
Well if Cappy says no, then by God, its going to be fucking no. So take your cheerleading elsewhere Keebs!

DDK:
So the pot calling the kettle black now?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[The crowd lets Team HOSS know their feelings of the thought of not getting a title match tonight. Keeling lifts his mic, but before he can speak, Songomi Tsunami speaks out.]

Songomi Tsunami:
Well Mr. Keeling. I know you don’t want to go for another round with Walker and company there. Seems Capital Punishment wants no part of this Team VIAGRA. I do not see any other teams coming out here, so the choice is obvious. Team HOSS versus the Crimson Dragon Clan.

[The crowd cheers once again, in hopes that they will get their title match.]

DDK:
Well Keeling has to make a choice. So which option is he willing to take?

Angus:
Not much of a choice, just please don't pick MUH BOI TAI! Not that I don’t want him to have a title, just not the ones belonging to our HOSS OVERLORDS!

Junior Keeling:
No, Miss Dragonlady, the choice isn’t obvious. None of you have really done anything to impress me yet.  And all three of your title requests?  Please feel free to drop them in the Team HOSS suggestion box… which is conveniently located in the same place the men’s toilet is.

[Keeling has a laugh, but Ryushin Zongetsu takes a menacing step towards the Superagent.  Angel Trinidad jumps in the way and folds his arms to protect his leader.]

Songomi Tsunami:
All that Ryushin Zongetsu needs to start ‘impressing you’ as you put it, is the word from me.

[Ryushin’s fists clench.  It’s uncommon for him to be oversized by his opponent… but then it’s uncommon for Angel Trinidad to be faced with someone even close to his own size. Junior Keeling looks around desperately for something, anything, to cause a distraction so that this open challenge doesn’t explode in his face.He looks at Songomi, standing firm. He looks at Mary-Lynn Mayweather, who just raises her hand and politely waves.  He looks at Tyrone Walker, seething.]

Junior Keeling:
Really?  You’re all done Ty?  After everything we’ve put you through, you’re just going to let these guys all jump ahead of you?

[Ty Walker taps his microphone, making sure it’s still working. He steps forth and eyes every member of the assembled teams that are not Team HOSS.]

Tyrone Walker:
Nah… I’mma tell you what though, Jun. The way I’m seein’ this shit right here? I don’t really see any reason why we can’t just share.

[The Crimson Dragon Clan and V.I.A.G.R.A. exchange glances.]

[And then they turn, as one, to face Team HOSS.]

Tyrone Walker:
I’m mean, lookit, we got these mothafuckas right here an’ they ain’t made a move until now to find a challenger? These niggas over here, didn’t defend nothin’, not for real, an’ now they’re playin’ all’a these games, try’na to turn us around on each other.

[Ty turns around to address his partners, the CDC and VIAGRA as a sneer scrunches his face while he shakes his head all “naaah, mang… naaaah!”]

Tyrone Walker:
I don’t know about all’a y’all, but me? [he turns back around to face Team HOSS] I’m willin’ to take them out RIGHT NOW, and sort errythang else out later, knamean?

[Lights out.]

Angus:
Don’t tell me.  White killed the power so that HOSS could sneak out under the cover of darkness? I mean, Edward White made a very reasonable decision to prevent our HOSS overlords from being illegitimately attacked by three teams with-

[Cue the banjos.]

♫ I guess you didn’t hear me when I told you for the first time ♫
♫ Well don’t you worry - it won’t be your last ♫
♫ All I need is a floorboard and a wooden shoe ♫
♫ Step aside, and let my lady through ♫
♫ Hay foot, straw foot, low we lay ‘em down ♫
♫ Hay foot, straw foot, up an’ back around ♫

[Microphone thump.]

[Lights up.]

DDK:
The Sons of the Soil are in the ring and The Thresher is attacking Tyrone Walker!

[During the blackout, The Thresher snuck into the ring and speared the living hell out of Walker, sending the microphone flying.  And now, for just a few seconds, everyone, including Ty’s own teammates, are frozen.  Even Keeling doesn’t have a flip remark to make.]

[But Jake Donovan shakes it all off and he flings himself at The Thresher, tackling the leader? of the SotS off of Ty.]

[And now Jarvis Remus (the huge bald one) and Ned the Crow (the skinny inbred kid looking one) roll into the ring.  Jarvis throttles Troy Matthews while Ned kicks Jake until he is knocked away from Thresher.]

[The Crimson Dragon Clan and VIAGRA stand watching this.  Except for Tony Davis, who’s still playing his game in the corner.]

DDK:
It’s completely breaking down in the ring, with the Sons of the Soil attacking Tyrone Walker and the Skybreakers for--

Angus:
-- FOR NO FUCKING REASON!  

DDK:
For no reason that we’re aware of!  

Junior Keeling:
Yes!  YES!  I have no idea if you three even work here and there’s no way in hell you’re getting the title shot if you do, but do that again!  Fifty bucks per spear and an extra twenty if you spear the dragonlady!

Angus:
Good idea, Keeling! Which dragonlady though?

DDK:
Hopefully neither one of them. Both are managers.

Angus:
Like that matters, a payday is a payday, Keebs! Just someone get that hillbilly off MUH BOI TAI!

[The Thresher doesn’t even bother looking at Keeling as he continues to beat down on Tyrone Walker]

[Jake Donovan turns to go help Troy Matthews.  He breaks Jarvis’ strangle around the neck, and both men dropkick the huge redneck.  Jarvis stumbles backwards, his arms flailing madly, and he-

-stumbles into Tony Davis in the corner.  Tony drops his game, and one of Jarvis’ big gross feet steps on it.]

[You can hear the screen crack and everything.]

[With the cry of an infant having his candy stolen, followed by the bellow of fury only a drunk Irishman who’s had his Guinness spilt would make, Davis surges to his feet.]

Angus:
What in the hell was that awful sound?

DDK:
A  pissed off Tony Davis is what, Angus! It’s GO TIME NOW!

[In a sudden motion, Davis bearhugs Jarvis around the waist, and snap twists Jarvis into a belly to belly takedown, surprising the industrial sized redneck. The original degenerate Davis lets the fists fly while Mary-Lynn Mayweather stands over in protest. Jack Harmen meanwhile, edges him on.]

Jack Harmen:
Now THAT’S what I call MUSIC!

[Harmen lunges and catches Ned the Crow with a stiff shot to the face. Ned goes straight down, his limbs flailing in bizarre directions.]

Jack Harmen:
I punched somebody!

[Harmen kisses his knuckles and turns to Mary-Lynn for approval, who only mouths the word “Why?” before Ned the Crow lunges and spears Harmen. The two fly into the corner, Harmen shoulder blocked into a neutral turnbuckle. Team HOSS begin to depart the ring. Jarvis has turned things around on Davis on the canvas, laying in on Tony with his massive forearms.]

DDK:
And look at Team HOSS running for the hills.

Angus:
It’s a tactical retreat, Keebs!  Keeling is keeping his soldiers on task.

DDK:
What, getting out of dodge, as fast as they can?

[Donovan and Matthews look at the fight now going on with the SotS and Team VIAGRA. The two shrug and turn to aid Tyrone Walker who is now in the corner with The Thresher. Both Donovan and Matthews grab The Thresher from behind. The Thresher drives a elbow in to Troy Matthews’ head sending him back, and another one for Donovan. Both stagger back. However the distraction is enough for Walker to jump up and using the turnbuckle as leverage drive both feet into The Thresher sending him colliding with Mathews and Donovan, and into Songomi Tsunami sending her down to the mat. Crimson Star checks in on her quickly.]

DDK:
Ohh oh… The Crimson Dragon Clan’s been staying out of this fight so far, but….

Angus:
BUT THAT IS A COOL SIXTY FOR MUH BOI TAI!

DDK:
You're hopeless.

[Crimson Star helps a very angry Songomi to her feet. She points to the three that have just crashed into her and screams to the top of her lungs.]

Songomi Tsunami:
SORERA O SUBETE KOROSU! (KILL THEM ALL!)

[With that single command, Crimson Star nods and charges at Jake Donovan, sending him crashing into Walker with a running knee to the back. Ryushin begins raining down on The Thresher with a series of stomps to any body part he can stomp. El Serpenti shrugs and leaps from the top turnbuckle and catches Troy Matthews with a Missile Dropkick sending him crashing into Mary-Lynn Mayweather. Tyrone Walker charges and tackles Crimson Star, and two begin trading blows.]

Angus:
Now this has just turned into total chaos!

DDK:
And would you look at Keeling and our Champions. They are laughing at this chaos!

[Indeed at the top of the ramp, Keeling and the Trios Champions are having a laugh as they just narrowly avoid a stomping by the other teams and take their leave from the scene as the massive brawl spills out over the ringside area. Bodies are everywhere by this point.]

DDK:
Tag team wrestling is alive and well in DEFIANCE!

Angus:
Yeah, maybe Keebs, but none of these teams have a chance against out HOSS OVERLORDS! Sadley not even Muh Boi Tai, thanks to getting shackled with Jake “The Raging [Kevin]” Donovan.

[Matthews pulls himself to his feet, seeks out a victim, and picks Ned.  A thai roundhouse kick sends the scrawny redneck spinning and flailing, and before he can follow up on it again, Mary Lynn Mayweather gets to her feet, grabs Matthews by the hair from behind and pulls him over in a back cracker!]

[And that’s enough to bring Saori Kazama and her shinai (that’s Kendo stick for you non-weeaboos) into the ring, and she cracks the stick over Mary Lynn’s back!]

[Jack Harmen dropkicks Saori clear of the ring, then wheels around on The Thresher!  The two men stumble backwards into the corner, Harmen throwing punches while the Thresher merely hangs on.  Pushing him in, Harmen climbs to the middle rope and raises his fist - ]

[And Ned finally stops being useless, hitting a step-up big boot to the back of Harmen’s head!]

[Thresher ducks between Harmen’s legs, grabs him by the arms, and brings him back down into the ring with his crucifix powerbomb!]

DDK:
Hangman’s High!  

[Davis comes running, and knocks Thresher down from behind.  He’s then tackled from behind by Jarvis, who instead of punching holds him down on the mat so Ned can come off the top rope with a shooting star press!]

[The CDC finally turns around on the SOTS.  Ryushin clotheslines Jarvis over the top rope, and Serpenti knocks Ned flying with a spinning heel kick.  Thresher ducks a superkick from Crimson Star and rolls out of the ring.  The Sons back up the ramp, Thresher holding Jarvis back with a palm against his chest.  Jarvis pants and his arms and neck tremble.]

Angus:
Fuck’s wrong with that dude?  

[Ryushin hurls Donovan into the turnbuckle like a sack of grain and rushes in after him, but Donovan dodges just in time.  Ryushin hits the buckle, Donovan is immediately throwing punches, and Davis runs in and squashes them both!  Ty leaps through the air and jumps on Davis throwing punches!  Crimson Star springboards and dropkicks Matthews out of the ring!  Mary Lynn frankensteiners El Serpenti!]

[And out of the back comes the DEFsec brute squad at full speed!]

[Wyatt Bronson, Samuel Grant and Jamie Stanley all hit the ring.  Tony Davis and Ryushin Zongetsu are both “proned,” Donovan is grabbed, Mary Lynn is left alone as she drops to one knee next to Harmen.  Walker shouts in the face of Bronson, demanding to be allowed to fight.]

DDK:
Fans, Team HOSS is nowhere to be found, the Sons of the Soil have slunk away as quickly as they arrived, and we’ve got the Skybreakers, the Crimson Dragon Clan and Team VIAGRA brawling in the ring as DEFsec tries to bring some order!  We’re going to take a commercial break, and hopefully have this cleaned up by the time we get back!

[Fade2Commercial]

[Following the commercial break, we see Jason Natas, DEFIANCE’s Anti-Superstar, strolling down a corridor and looking for a place to smoke. He’s dressed in a black tee with “PUGILIST” in bold, white print across the chest and a pair of straight-cut blue jeans, having taken the time to quickly freshen up and wash Rich Mahogany’s filth from his body.]

[His DEFIANCE career is off to a perfect start: two matches, two wins, little fanfare and no real headaches. Trouble will find him eventually -- he knows this -- but for now, Natas is utterly stoic as he traverses the backstage area. He passes many stagehands and production assistants on his way, though none are daft enough to challenge him for the unlit Marlboro Red between his lips.]

[A sign up ahead indicates a side exit and Natas lengthens his stride to get to nicotine heaven that much faster. In his haste, he doesn’t realize he’s crossing through an intersecting hallway at the same time as someone else. There’s a collision, and Natas slaps a hand against the wall to catch himself. The second party stumbles a bit, regains footing, then whirls back to face him.]

[The Anti-Superstar grimaces.]

[This meeting’s been inevitable.]

Lindsay Troy:
Still carrying on with the cancer sticks, I see.

Jason Natas:
Fu--

[Jason stops himself mid-curse. He hasn’t been looking forward to this.]

Jason Natas:
Smokin’s ‘bout the only pleasure they ain’t taken away from me. Don’t go tellin’ me I can’t do that now, either…

[Conscious of it falling from his mouth, and not wanting to waste a good smoke, Jason places the cigarette behind his ear.]

Jason Natas:
A’ight, WrestleMom. Get the lecture over with.

Lindsay Troy: [laughs]
What lecture? ”Blah blah, smoking’s bad, mmkay?” ‘Cause it worked so well on Wade and Tyler, y’know.

[A dismissive wave of her hand.]

Lindsay Troy:
There are other walls to bang my head against and other battles to fight. This is one I’ll never win.

Jason Natas:
Smart move. Ain’t like you t’be turnin’ down fights though -- figured you’d be lookin’ for one as soon as you saw my name on the roster. What’s changed?

Lindsay Troy:
I like to keep an inventory of things. And people. Knowing what I do, I think my Twitter humblebrag served enough of a purpose.

[Jason spends the next 5 seconds of his life trying to figure out what a “humblebrag” is. It clicks when he remembers Troy’s sly social media dig from July.]

Jason Natas:
Yeah, yeah: I remember you scrapin’ by me at my worst, though I realise my “best” prob’ly wasn’t much better. PRIME was a pretty terrible few years ‘a my life, now that I think ‘bout it.

Lindsay Troy:
You certainly didn’t do yourself any favors.

Jason Natas:
Didn’t. Past tense. Tryin’a do things a lil’ differently now. A man’s only got so many years, an’ I’ve already fucked at least 30 of ‘em.

Lindsay Troy: [tilts her head, looks amused]
Are you trying to tell me that after you got kicked off the Farewell Tour, you had a “Come to Jesus” moment?

[Jason snorts, then cracks what might be the first genuine on-camera smile of his career.]

Jason Natas:
It ain’t ‘bout “comin’ to Jesus,” bein’ a saint, or any ‘a that shit. It’s ‘bout lookin’ back on a career an’ realisin’ the only memories I have are negative. I mean, what’s the biggest talkin’ point ‘a my career? Handcuffin’ a guy to the ropes then bludgeonin’ his boyfriend half t’ death, all for the sake ‘a makin’ the dude say “I quit” so I could add another “one” t’ the good side ‘a my record. Tryin’a bully people out ‘a PRIME? Stubbin’ out cigarettes on arms? Beatin’ faces to a fuckin’ pulp?

[Jason shakes his head.]

Jason Natas:
Ain’t exactly a glorious highlight reel, but I’m startin’ t’ figure this shit out a bit, y’know? I came int’ this game ‘cause a couple suits offered me a shitload ‘a money to punch faces. As far as wrestlin’ was concerned, I fuckin’ stunk, an’ the world knew it. So I reacted the same way every coward does: by gettin’ angry and rampin’ up the violence. It came t’ a head after the Farewell Tour. Few nights after you beat my ass, I fell asleep with a needle in my arm an’ woke-up in the hospital five days later. “Your heart stopped beatin’ at one point,” they said. Told me I was clinically dead for a lil’ while…

[He pauses.]

Jason Natas:
Y’know, I spent my whole career pickin’ on those I thought were weaker than me, an’ I was the weakest guy on the whole damn roster. Took a brush with the reaper t’ realise it. That’s the CliffsNotes version, at least. I’ll spare you the gore.

Lindsay Troy:
Your concern for my feminine sensitivities is noted.

[There’s a hint of snark in this comment, but Troy’s expression doesn’t match the tone. The amused look is gone and is replaced by one that shows a little sympathy.]

Lindsay Troy:
You’re not the only one out there who needed an “ah-ha” moment but had to wait awhile for it to happen. Just make the most of the chance you’ve got now. This place doesn’t go recruiting just anyone.

Jason Natas:
Tell me about it: you got any idea how many piss tests these bastards put me through?

[Jason smiles wryly, though his attempt at wit draws nothing from The Queen.]

Jason Natas:
Figures, though. Thought I’d spend the rest ‘a my career scrappin’ on the indies, given all the shit that went down in PRIME. I ain’t out t’be no saint, but I ain’t startin’ no new wars either. Life’s changed: I’m glad someone noticed.

Lindsay Troy:
Doesn’t take much to start a turnaround, does it?

[He shrugs.]

Jason Natas:
Just a few nights spent starin’ death in the face, I s’pose. Shit, though, I’ve rambled enough: don’t want people thinkin’ I’m some kinda charity case.

Lindsay Troy:
Mmm. Better to quit while you’re ahead.

[Further up the hall, there’s a bit of a commotion going on. A few DEFsec members run toward the back exit leading to the loading docks, which goes unnoticed by the Anti-Superstar and the Queen of the Ring.]

Jason Natas:
Yeah, yeah. Too many people runnin’ roun’ tryin’a turn this game int’ a soap opera without me Dawson’s Creekin’ the place up. ‘Sides, my best work’s done in the ring these days. Ask Rich Mahogany.

Lindsay Troy:
I don’t think Rich wants to be within an arm’s length of me any time soon. Or ever, really.

Jason Natas:
My vision still ain’t quite right after the fuckhead damn near clawed my eyes out. But shit, I’m ‘bout t’ start shakin’ if I don’t get some nicotine in my system real soon…

Lindsay Troy:
Let’s watch who we’re calling “fuckheads,” lest I get asked to vouch for another surly asshole who hits people hard. I’d really like to spare everyone from a million Corona kicks to the brain.

Jason Natas:
C’mon, if there’s one guy worth callin’ a fuckhea--

[Jason stops himself.]

Jason Natas:
Wait. Shit. What did you say?

[Natas’ brow tightens with INTRIIIIIIIGUE~! Lindsay’s about to answer when Mike (Not “Chainz”) Sloan, Head Road Agent, pops abruptly into the scene.]

Mike Sloan:
You’re needed, Troy. [Motions off to the side.] C’mon.

Lindsay Troy: [nodding]
It must be time for my front-row seat to watch Wade’s ascension to SoHer Glory. [Smirks at Natas] See ya ‘round, Jase.

[Sloan takes Troy by the arm and starts off at a jog, not in the direction of the Guerrilla Position, but in the direction of said earlier commotion. The gesture is a little too urgent for needing to accompany Wade and Tyler to the ring and the puzzled look on her face shows it. But she follows along, not realizing they’re headed the opposite way of where she needs to be.]

[The cogs in Jason’s head are still spinning.]

[Lindsay Troy. “Vouching.”]

[... for him?]

Jason Natas:
Huh.

[All he can do is shrug, slip the cigarette between his lips and get on his way, though it will take a while for the shock to subside.]

[And on that note…]

[Cut to the ring where Darren Quimbey stands with the microphone up to his lips.]

Quimbey:
Our next contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the DEFIANCE Southern Heritage Championship!

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Quimbey:
Introducing first…

[Cue that big band.]

Quimbey:
From Brooklyn, New York! Weighing in at 245 lbs, he is the DEFIANCE Southern Heritage Champion… TONY ‘TWO HAAAANDS’ DIIIIII LUUUUUUUUCAAAAAAAA!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 

[From the back struts Tony Di Luca and, flanking him as always, Vincent Rinaldi and Alceo Dentari. The three men saunter their way down the ramp, ignoring the jeers from the fans, and one by one ascend the stairs to the apron. Tony steps in through the ropes and circles the ring, not bothering to remove his jacket, nor unstrap the belt from around his waist. Vinny and Alceo meanwhile lean on the top rope and rub their hands together, smiling smugly as they do so.]

DDK:
Something doesn’t quite feel right here, Angus.

Angus:
I told you to get Dr. Steinberg to take a look at that.

DDK:
What? No, not that… I mean with Tony… He doesn’t look like he’s out here to compete.

Angus:
He looks ready to me.

DDK:
But he’s still got his jacket on, and he’s looking a lot more… casual than usual…

[That’s true. Tony walks around the ring laughing and joking with Dentari and Rinaldi as he does so. He even winks at his associates as Quimbey brings his microphone back up.]

Quimbey:
And his opponent!

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Quimbey:
From Pine Ridge, Alabama, weighing in at 257 lbs, ‘THE BAAAAD DOOOOOG’ WAAAAAADE EEELLLLIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!

[The loud, countrified licks of Lynyrd Skynyrd hit the speakers hard, and the arena is soaked in a bath of red, white and blue flash bulbs, pulsing with the music. This continues for a few moments, then a few more… Then a few more… and a few more more… more. Tony Di Luca furrows his brow and looks towards his associates with his arms out at his sides as though asking ‘what’s going on’. A sentiment shared by Darren Quimbey who stands uncomfortably in the middle of the ring until the music finally cuts off.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DDK:
I told you! I told you I smelled something fishy!

Angus:
And I told you to get it looked at.

DDK:
With Tony!

[Cue the music and lights up again, but the story is much the same. Nobody emerges from the back, and nobody in the ring seems to know why… although they might be about to be clued in when the DEFIAtron comes to life with a view of the loading docks. Red and blue lights from an on-site ambulance bounce off the concrete walls.]

Iris Davine:
OK, OK, give him some air!

[A crowd of people huddle around something, or someone judging by the legs protruding from the gaggle, but just who it is isn’t immediately obvious.]

Tyler Rayne:
The hell’s goin’ on!?

[Not that there really needs to be more people on the scene, but Tyler Rayne skids into view and elbows past some DEFsec guards and EMTs. A door in the background slams open courtesy of Mike Sloan and Lindsay Troy hurtles down a set of concrete steps and sprints over to the group. Rayne manages to muscle his way through and Troy follows in his wake, the gap they create finally reveals the owner of the legs…]

[Wade Elliott.]

Lindsay Troy: [looking horrified]
Jesus f….

[Her eyes dart around the crowd and fall on the DEFsec Brute Squad Head Honcho, Wyatt Bronson.]

Lindsay Troy:
What happened?!

Wyatt Bronson:
Mark says he saw him get hit by a car.

[A stunned silence falls over the arena as Troy’s and Rayne’s expressions turn to stone. They both look to Mark Shields, who stands away from the crowd with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.]

Mark Shields:
We were out here havin’ a smoke an’ this black car jus’ came tearin’ up here.

[Mark gestures along the driving lane that Wade lays in the middle of.]

Mark Shields:
It hit Wade, stopped for a second, then tore off outta sight. It’s weird, there wasn’t any squealing of brakes or anything… at least, not until after that thump...

Tyler Rayne:
godsdammit…

[On the ground Wade grimaces and lets out a groan.]

Lindsay Troy:
You make anything out? Driver? License plate?

[Mark takes a long drag on his cigarette and shakes his head.]

Lindsay Troy:
You sure about that?

[The look she gives him - narrowed eyes and a scowl - says I know you’re shady as shit so you’d better not be lying. Shields gets the hint real quick.]

Mark Shields:
I swear, I got nothing.

[A grunt from Wade Elliott breaks up any further interrogation.]

Iris Davine:
Woah, woah, woah, stay right where you are, Wade!

[But the Bad Dog isn’t going to do that. He tries to sit up, and almost succeeds, before a member of the DEFsec squad places his hands on his shoulders and holds him down.]

Iris Davine:
You ain’t going anywhere ‘til you get loaded on the stretcher.

Wade Elliott: [groaning]
Tell em’ they can use it fer the chicken-shit that just clipped me. I got a god-damn match.

Iris Davine:
Only thing you got a match with is an MRI machine. There’s absolutely no way you’re competing tonight… not after this.

Wade Elliott:
Horseshit.

Iris Davine:
I said no!

[Lindsay and Tyler share a glance that suggests they know exactly what’s coming. So when Wade starts to struggle against the restraint of the DEFsec guards, the other two ‘Heroes step in.]

Iris Davine:
You could be seriously injured, and any kind of movement-

Lindsay Troy:
Iris…

[Lindsay motions to the DEFsec guys to unhand The Bad Dog, which they do after double-checking with Iris and Wyatt, who nod silently. Wade’s struggling stops instantly and he tries to sit up, although it’s clear he’s in an extreme amount of discomfort.]

Tyler Rayne:
Need a hand, Country?

[But the look in Wade’s eyes answers that question, and Rayne withdraws the offer. Back in the ring Tony Di Luca takes the microphone from Quimbey.]

Tony Di Luca:
‘Ey, what’s the trouble back there? Did The Bad Dog get himself run ova?

DDK:
Something tells me Di Luca knows EXACTLY what the “trouble” is.

Angus:
Wait, but seriously, did Wade just get hit by a car?

[Di Luca doesn’t do a very good job of hiding his smug grin, and boos from the arena start rising louder and louder.]

Tony Di Luca:
‘Ats a shame, a real damn shame, Wade. But, show’s gotta go on, right?

[Cut back to the loading docks. Wade’s on his feet, showing clear pain in his leg.]

Iris Davine:
Elliott, smarten up. You just got hit by a car.. You need medical attention. You need to get in the ambulance.

Wade Elliott: [in pain]
Don’t take this th’wrong way, ma’am, but go fuck yerself.

[The Southern Sparkplug shoulders past the crowd and heads straight for the doors to the arena as fast as he can with an awful looking limp. Iris can only watch, throwing her hands up before turning to Lindsay Troy.]

Iris Davine:
Seriously!? The hell’s wrong with you? Y’can’t let him go out there!

Lindsay Troy:
Iris, I know how this looks, but this is not the first time we’ve dealt with something like this.

[Lindsay gestures toward Tyler, who shrugs.]

Tyler Rayne:
Yeah. He was fine after I hit him with a car. Mostly. Just gotta... walk it off...

[Cut back to the ring. The current Southern Heritage Champion watches the DEFIAtron as it follows Elliott as he makes his way through the backstage. Di Luca’s smug grin transforms into a curled lip, and he whirls around to Carla Ferrari.]

Tony Di Luca:
Start countin’.

[Carla valiantly holds her ground but once the LBC closes in on her, Big Vinny especially, she starts backing away. The crowd boos at their pressuring, but at the same time cheers for the coming ‘Bama Bruiser on the DEFIAtron, who has blasted through a pair of double doors near the Guerilla Position.]

Tony Di Luca:
I SAID. START. COUNTIN’!

DDK:
And now the LBC is pressuring Carla Ferrari to count Wade out!

[Carla, now backed into a corner, finally gives in to the pressuring of the LBC.]

Carla Ferrari:
ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DDK:
This is wrong! This is completely wrong!

Angus:
Wade better get moving!

[Back on screen, The Bad Dog has made it across the Guerrilla Position, eliciting a loud cheer from the crowd as he disappears to the area just behind the DEFIAtron]

DDK:
He’s getting close!

Carla Ferrari:
FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

[The LBC look to the stage in frustration as the limping Wade Elliott emerges, clambering onto the ramp. The three move in closer on Ferrari to keep her counting.]

Carla Ferrari:
SEVEN!

EIGHT!

DDK:
Come on, Wade!

[The Blue Collar Brawler, fire in his eyes, is about halfway down the ramp.]

Carla Ferrari:
NINE!

Angus:
He’s not gonna make it!

[Wade makes it to the bottom.]

Carla Ferrari:
TEN!

Ding ding ding!

[Elliott is unable to reach the ring in time as the bell sounds, though he rolls into the squared circle regardless as the LBC slide out, all smiles. They jeer at the hobbled ‘Bama Bruiser, who pulls himself up by the ropes, leaning against the top rope for support, facing the ramp, eyes glaring at a very-pleased-with-themselves LBC.]

Darren Quimbey: [Reluctantly]
Your winner...via countout...and still Southern Heritage Champion…Tony Di Luca.

DDK:
What a joke! The LBC slide their way to safety AGAIN!

Angus:
Ya do what ya gotta do, DDK.

[That big band music hits the speakers as the LBC back-peddle up the ramp, shouting obscenities amongst the boos of the crowd. In one last act of stubborn defiance, Wade stands gingerly, tears off his t-shirt, and points a finger to his crossed Confederate flag tattoo, burning blue eyes locked on ‘Two Hands’ with grit teeth behind his bushy goatee.]

[Commercial.]

[Back in the dressing room area, specifically the dressing room of the new World Champion and likely recipient of a good neck massage after that friendly Stardriver, Dusty Griffith.  Dusty  goes to open the door, irritated because, well, you know already. As the door swings wide he hears the sound of a noisemaker, one of those annoying little party favors they pass out at kids’ birthday parties. He looks up with a start and sees Dan Ryan sitting on the bench in the room, a party hat on and the aforementioned noisemaker at his lips. Dusty takes in the scene, a haphazard “Congratulations” banner strung across the back wall, some balloons scattered around. About the same time Griffith takes the sight in, Ryan stands, tossing the hat and noisemaker to the side with stoic, sarcastically dramatic tosses over his shoulder, and starts lightly golf clapping.]

Dusty Griffith: [Seething]
Do you think I’m in the mood for this crap right now?

[Ryan’s clapping slows, ending in two dramatic slow claps.]

Dan Ryan: [Ryan shrugs.]
It’s been a rough night for you, definitely. It seems that between the two of us, you’re hooked up with the one voted ‘most likely to blindside you with a neck dropping finisher’.

Dusty Griffith:
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve had my fill of dramatic exposition for one night. Why don’t you just stop wasting my time and tell me what it is you want? You here to take a shot at me, too? You been waitin’ til I’m weakened so you can do some damage? Why don’t you just do it, then?

[Griffith raises his hands, ready for a fight, but Ryan holds a hand up and chuckles.]

Dan Ryan:
Is that what you think this is? Come on, Dusty. Have I ever done anything but show you the proper respect of finding you and letting my intentions be known face to face? You know as much about me as the next man. You watched my career for years from afar, remember? If I wanted you out of commission, we wouldn’t be having this pleasant conversation right now, would we? And, let me add one more time in case it wasn’t already clear, I’m not the one that blindsided you and dropped you on your neck tonight. I’m sitting calmly in a dressing room, celebrating your World Championship. Your bi-polar friend, Eric Dane didn’t give you that same courtesy, did he?

[Griffith relaxes a bit, but only a bit.]

Dusty Griffith:
So that’s what I’m supposed to believe? You’re just here to congratulate me on my championship win? What? You’re a fan now?

[Ryan looks up for only a brief moment, as if in thought, then looks back at Dusty.]

Dan Ryan:
Not a fan exactly. I would just say I’m much more interested in you and your career than I was a little while ago.

Dusty Griffith:
I’ll bet you are.

[Ryan smiles.]

Dan Ryan:
Look at it this way --- you approached me awhile back, said you wanted a match with me one day --- one on one you said. Me, I’ve always been more interested in being the best than anything else. You are now the World Champion, and what better story to be told than the new World Champion defending his belt against the man whom he admired all those years?

Dusty Griffith:
Admired might be too strong of a word.

[Ryan waves the comment away.]

Dan Ryan:
Call it what you will. Regardless, I’m standing in front of you man to man giving you the courtesy of asking for a shot at the DEFIANCE World Championship. I’m being --- for once --- a nice guy.

Dusty Griffith:
Oh yeah, you’re kind as hell, Dan. Kissin’ babies and all. Here’s the thing about a World Championship shot for you though, no matter what I thought of you comin’ up in the game, and even thought I normally wouldn't mind fighting just about ANYONE, I’m just not sure you DESERVE ONE.

[Ryan’s brows shoot up, genuinely surprised, but trying to cover it up.]

Dan Ryan:
Is that so?

[Griffith closes in, getting less than a foot away, like Ryan did to him last week.]

Dusty Griffith:
It is.

Dan Ryan:
Funny. Really funny. Yeah that’s uh….really uh... [Ryan forces a chuckle to try and cover up a quick flash of anger, not particularly succeeding.] Look, you know what? Let me remind you of something, Dusty. I’m looking down at you right now and I’m thinking you’ve let that fire in your belly confuse you into forgetting a few things. I’m thinking you’ve forgotten that no matter what Eric Dane tries to convince himself of while standing in the ring verbally jerkin’ himself off, you’re looking at the one man around here who has put in the dues to DESERVE everything he asks for.

[Griffith smiles, finally getting Dan Ryan off his game a little bit.]

Dusty Griffith:
Well, well, I finally found that exposed nerve of yours, didn’t I? I’ll tell you what, Dan. You have proven yourself time and time again in this business. I’ll grant you that.  But last time I checked, you haven’t had a lot of signature wins lately. Didn’t you LOSE to Eugene Dewey? We don’t give away World Championship matches to people based on how many people they cripple or how effectively they jump someone.

Dan Ryan: [Smirking again.]
Signature wins. You want signature wins, do you? Huh --  [Ryan smiles.]  Alright. I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna go give you some signature wins. Now, I don’t think I really need any. After all, I can have Ed say the word and make this match happen, but I’m a man of my word, Dusty Griffith. Here’s what I want you to make sure you understand though. I’m gonna handpick some opponents, and I’m gonna turn ‘em into signature wins, just like you want. And what I do to these opponents?.... that’s on your head.

[Ryan jumps a bit, in a mock “oops” expression.]

Dan Ryan:
Oh I’m sorry, I said ‘on your head’. Too soon?

[Ryan’s face goes cold and walks around Griffith toward the door.]

Dusty Griffith:
Funny, ‘too soon’ was my first reaction when you asked for a match. [in an exaggerated voice]  OH I’M SORRY. TOO SOON.

[Ryan stops at this, near the door and we see a flash of anger go over his face, but he quickly regains composure.]

Dan Ryan:
Well done, champ. Well done. You enjoy your big night, whatever it has left in store for you. I’ll be seeing you again, don’t worry. Duty calls.

[Ryan winks, then goes through the door. Griffith just looks toward him as he goes.]

[Away from ringside.]

[A bummed Sam Turner Jr. sits in a folding metal chair watching the closed circuit DEFIANCE television. A huge shadow slowly moves across Sam blocking out all of the light from the hallway. He looks up to find Ed White’s massive enforcer and head of security Nicky Corozzo standing over him.]
 
Nicky Corozzo:
Mr. White requests your presence. Alone.
 
Sam Turner Jr.:
Uhh...okay.

[Corozzo turns on his heels and heads back down the hallway. Sam flicks off the monitor he was watching and cautiously walks behind the huge man a few paces. He obviously trusts Corozzo about as far as his big arms could throw him but right now you don’t say no to Edward White, not with the power he’s wielding.]

[As Sam follows Nicky his mind begins to wonder. Is this really for real? What’s Edward White want with me? Is this a trap or is this seri’us business?]

Sam Turner Jr.:
What’s it about?

[Nicky stops beside a door with an opulent gold nameplate reading “The REAL Bo$$: Edward White; Enter With Reverence”... Nicky says not a word, he just shifts his eyes over to the door. Sam breathes a heavy sigh and slowly pushes open the office door, revealing the inside of the Bo$$e$ Skybox that we saw from afar earlier this evening. The space is still being decorated, we can tell immediately it’s going to be his usual brand of Trump like classiness.]

Edward White:
Ahhhhh, Sam. Come in, my boy, have a seat.

[Ed is dressed in his whitest of tuxedos, a huge cigar dangling between his fingers.]

[Sam cautiously takes a seat across the huge oak desk from Ed in his huge leather wingback desk chair. White motions towards the box of Cubans with a smile.]

Edward White:
Go on son, have one. You’re a hard working individual, you deserve a reward.

[Sam reaches towards the box, hesitating… eventually plucking one from the bunch and depositing it in his front overall pocket. Not wanting to be unneighborly and all.]

Sam Turner Jr.:
Thank you sir, I’ll save it for later if’n thats alright.

[The Sophisticate chuckles under his breath.]

Edward White:
That’s quite all right my boy, quite all right. Give it to someone you think might enjoy it. Give it to your friend Dusty, I know he enjoys a fine cigar. You know something interesting, Sam? You sit there probably thinking “what does this man want with me, what’s this schemer planning here”...

Sam Turner Jr.:
Well, I…

Edward White:
Son, I relate to you more than you know. I wasn’t always the wealthy socialite you see before you. I lived in trailers, flophouses, I experienced what it's like to look up and see the finer things, the success, the fame all right there just out of reach. I know what it’s like to sit show after show just waiting for that big break. For that opportunity to shine.

[Out of a side door struts the long legs of the drop dead gorgeous Jane Katze. Her arms over her head fussing with her hair we get a good look at her rock hard physique. Sam shifts in his chair at the sight of the leggy submission specialist. Jane sits on the edge of Ed’s chair and drapes an arm over his shoulders.]

Edward White:
And being on top, finally getting there? Oh Sam it has so many wonderful... [grin] privileges.

[Ed casts a passing glance to the camera still positioned behind Sam.]

Edward White:
How about you and I and Jane here carry on the rest of this conversation in private. Maybe over a drink or two? I have some fine fifty year old scotch just waiting to be enjoyed, what say?

[Ed’s snakelike smile is evident even behind his perfectly coiffed beard.]

Sam Turner Jr.:
Welp, I guess talkin’ ain’t hurtin’ nothin’... an’ I am a touch thirsty.

[Jane gets up and eases the camera back and out the office door.]

Edward White:
Now Sam, lets talk about the future shall we? A bright and prosperous future.

[Jane gives the camera a little wave before the door goes… ]

[Click.]

[As we cut away from the INTRIGUE~!-ing scene of Sam Turner Junior paying Ed White a visit, which is undoubtedly far more worth your time and attention than the following segment will be, DEFIANCE cameras take us all LIVE to San Diego, California and the palatial (read: paid for by his rich uncle) residence of one Romero Antiguas.]

[The living room of El Maestro Del Martinete is well appointed to say the least, but the center of what the crowd can see is a huge leather couch, upon which lays Romero Antiguas. It is the first time anyone has seen him since suffering testicular trauma at the hands of Rich Mahogany.]

[And, unfortunately, he’s got something to say.]

Romero Antiguas:
Hombres...and especially mujeres, thank you very much. This will not take much of your time, I promise.

[The camera pans down to Romero’s groin area. A bag of frozen peas rests upon the affected area, clearly still suffering from the events of GRINDHOUSE: America.]

Romero Antiguas:
I wish to thank the female fans of DEFIANCE for their outpouring of support in the wake of the most...tragic event of my life. I have suffered greatly in the past - but nothing has caused me to suffer like what that...idiot Rich Mahogany did to me. I have been told by my physician that I am fortunate my testicles did not...rupture. What that means? Good news for all of my chicas bellas, and bad news indeed for the entire DEFIANCE locker room.

[The cocky, arrogant, seemingly omnipresent grin on Romero’s face vanishes for a split second - but only that, before it returns with a burning vengeance.]

Romero Antiguas:
It will only be a few short weeks before I am cleared to return to wrestling, upon which I will ensure that I thank every attractive female DEFIANT that I can find for their cards, letters, nude photographs and underwear that I have been receiving by the sackful ever since that horrible night. It is through your support that I will come back a better, BIGGER man than ever before. Thank you all very much!

[Romero flashes the camera a cheesy thumbs-up, only to suddenly wince in pain, hand moving down to adjust the bag of frozen peas as we thankfully, mercifully cut to ringside.]

[The Commentation Station.]

Angus:
You gotta hand it to that guy, he's such a trooper!

DDK:
Are you kidding? He's sitting at home!

Angus:
HIS. BALLS. HAVE BEEN. DESTROYED, Show some empathy, man!

DDK:
I can't imagine why...

Angus:
You can't imagine anything, let's just toss this down to Dee Que and get the FIST Title match goin, k?

DDK:
Fine.

Darren Quimbey:
The following match, scheduled for one fall, is for the FIST of DEFIANCE! Introducing first, from MASON CITY, IOWA; weighing in at 215 pounds...JAAAAAAAAAAKE DONNNNNNOOOOOOVAAAAANNNNNNNN!

["Come On Get Up" by Adrenaline Mob erupts from the arena’s speakers and there’s Jake, banging his head in time to the music at the top of the ramp before raising one arm to the rafters. The crowd goes crazy as Jake begins to make his way down the aisle, his face all painted up in orange, green, and grey, his hair sporting streaks of blue, white and purple. He’s got on black cargo pants with orange streaks running down the side, a green mesh vest top and a grey mesh sleeve covering one arm, while the other is bare, showing off his tattoo.]

Angus:
For Christ’s sake he looks like he got bitchslapped with a bag of skittles.

DDK:
It is a bit more colorful than his usual look.

Angus:
A BIT?@! He’s got more colors than the rainbow coalition.

[Jake slaps hands with the people, hugs the little kids, fist bumps the guys and hugs the girls on his way to the ring. At the ring he runs up the steps, pulls himself onto the top rope and raises his arms high before doing a somersault and landing in the ring to a huge pop from the fans]

Angus:
I hope Eugene knocks the yellow right off his face.

DDK:
That might be the only color he ISN’T wearing. What a huge reaction from the crowd for Jake Donovan, now here come the FIST of DEFIANCE!

Darren Quimbey:
And his opponent, from Buffalo, Wyoming, he weighs in at 260 lbs, the reigning FIST of DEFIANCE… EEEEEEUUUUUUUUGEEEEEENEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

[DatHeavenyChoir.jpg]

[The lights in the arena drop, save for one spotlight focused at the top of the ramp. Slowly the FIST walks from the shadows into the light. He stands for a moment with his head bowed until the guitar kicks in, upon which cue he throws his hands in the air and roars to the crowd, who roar right back at him.]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[The lights come back up as Eugene starts to make his way down the ramp, slapping hands with as many fans as he can on his way down. He even backtracks a couple of times so as to not miss the fans on the other side of the ramp.]

[Eugene walks his way slowly down to the ring, making time to stop and slap hands with fans on both side of the aisle along the way. He reaches the ring side and slides in under the bottom rope, once in, he climbs the turnbuckle, unclips the FIST belt from his waist and holds it high in the air.]

DDK:
You can hate him all you'd like Angus, but that belt looks good on him!

Angus:
Get your eyes checked, it's on his shoulder, I doubt he can even strap the thing on properly.

[Dewey dismounts the turnbuckle and turns back to Jake. He smiles across the ring and  hands the FIST belt over to Benny Doyle who carries the belt to the time keeper, hands it over and calls for the bell.]

Ding Ding Ding!

[The mutual respect between the two competitors shows through as Eugene extends a hand which is met with a light slap from Jake. The two then circle the middle of the ring before tying up.  Eugene forces Jake back against the ropes and whips him across the ring. Donovan rebounds and ducks a clothesline attempt, hits the opposite side and comes back. He avoids a back elbow and hits the ropes again. This time Jake leaves his feet and throws himself at Eugene with a crossbody, which takes the Champion off of his feet. Jake reaches for the leg and hooks it after they land!]

[ONE!]

[Eugene quickly kicks out!]

DDK:
Donovan trying to get the fast victory there.

Angus:
You know how I hate that flippy-doo shit that he does, Keebs?

DDK:
I think you’ve mentioned it once or twice…

Angus:
Well, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, if he keeps the speed up and flings himself around the ring, and stays inverted for 50% of the match, he might stand a chance in this one.

DDK:
You’re actually advocating Jake’s high flying style?

Angus:
Not advocating, no. I’ll still complain about it til I’m blue in the face.

DDK:
Don’t you enjoy complaining though?

Angus:
Love it.

DDK:
You really are an enigma, Angus.

[Both men scramble up to their feet. Jake throws a right that Eugene blocks and retaliates with a right of his own. The force of the shot knocks Jake back into the ropes, but he rebounds with an elbow that connects with the side of Dewey’s jaw. Eugene, having been rocked by the elbow, stumbles back, allowing Jake to get a run up. Eugene ducks though and elevates Jake up over the top rope! Jake lands on his feet on the apron and waits for Eugene to turn around, whereupon he throws another elbow. This time Eugene catches his arm and falls to his back, hot shotting Jake’s shoulder on the top rope.]

DDK:
Jake goes tumbling to the outside!

Angus:
Oh Jesus, Eugene’s not gonna try that flippy shit now, is he?

[Dewey rolls to the apron and takes up his position against the corner post. He waits patiently for Jake to get back to his feet and starts running along the apron when he turns around. Jake however has the cannonball well scouted and rolls out of the way before Eugene can jump. Dewey has to stop himself and tries to turn around, but Jake’s right back with him and sweeps his legs out from under him, and Dewey hits the apron hard as he tumbles to the floor.]

DDK:
Jake’s done his homework.

[With Eugene on the floor on the outside Jake hops up onto the apron and waits for him to get to his feet. Eugene does so as Jake springboards off of the second rope with an Asai Moonsault, that connects with Dewey’s shoulder!]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DDK:
Jake lands on his feet and the crowd goes wild!

Angus:
Be more generic.

[Donovan pulls Eugene up and tosses him into the ring. Again he hops up onto apron and pauses for a second as he waits for Eugene to get into position. As soon as the FIST is up to his feet Jake springboards into the ring and connects with a dropkick to the same shoulder as he landed on with the moonsault. Eugene staggering back against the ropes, clutches his shoulder as Donovan kips back up to his feet and goes right on the offensive, grabbing the hand of the FIST and trying to pull him out of the corner. Dewey puts on the breaks. Jake gives another tug and again, Dewey digging in, refusing to move, so Jake quickly turning it into a Fujiwara armbar and dragging the FIST to the mat.]

DDK:
I think thats what he wanted all along….

Angus:
Someone might want to tell him it works better if his opponent is a little further from the ropes.

DDK:
Pretty sure he knows that Angus.

Angus:
Could have fooled me. Deweys inches away from reaching one and making Jake’s efforts utterly pointless.

[Sure enough, Dewey straining to reach the bottom rope with the ref right there in his face, asking if he wants to give it up but the FIST just keeps on reaching towards the bottom rope, his fingers skimming it as Jake continues to pull up on the arm. Eugene’s fingers skim the rope again before he is finally able to grab it.]

DDK:
And the ref orders a clean break and Donovan gives him one.

Angus:
Of course he does, wouldn’t want to upset the kiddies and let people down. He might have to issue another public apology if he did anything remotely like actually TRYING to be aggressive and win a match.

[Eugene up to one knee, shaking his arm out as he eyes Jake, waiting as the smaller wrestler approaches. As soon as Jake reaches down, looking to continue his attack on Eugene’s arm, the FIST launches himself upward…]

DDK:
Jake Donovan spinning himself out of the way of the Shoryuken just in the nick of time.

Angus:
I don’t know that he avoided it completely. I think Dewey got a piece of it!

[Sure enough, Jake Donovan on the outside of the ring, rubbing his jaw and doing his best to put some distance between himself and the FIST of DEFIANCE. Eugene Dewey using that time to shake out his shoulder as he keeps his eyes on Donovan, who quickly climbs up into the ring on the far side and eyes Dewey warily.]

DDK:
Donovan better consider himself lucky he had that move scouted too.

Angus:
How much you wanna bet Muh Boiw TY scouted it for him.

[Dewey meeting Jake back in the center of the ring, looking for a collar and elbow tie-up that Jake seems very reluctant to give him, but eventually does and is driven back into a corner for his troubles. Dewey with palm strike to the face of Donovan, stuns the painted man and while Jake shakes out the cobwebs, Dewey backs away and gets a running start.]

DDK:
And there was NO avoiding that!

Angus:
Dewey splashed Donovan so hard a rainbow of skittles just went sailing into the fifth row!

DDK:
Now you’re exaggerating.

[Jake staggering out of the corner only to be met with a boot to the gut from Eugene followed by a DDT.]

Angus:
That DDT just left a paint spear were Jake Donovan’s head hit the mat.

DDK:
Like that’s what he should really be worried about right now. The FIST of DEFIANCE covering him is what he’d better be focused on.

[One]

[Two]

Angus:
Dammit! Donovan with the shoulder up.

DDK:
What NOW you’re cheering with Eugene to win?

Angus:
No, I just want this damn match to be over and BOTH of these guys to get outta the ring.

[Dewey frowning at the ref, climbs to his feet and pulls Donovan up with him, whipping him across the ring into a corner and following him in with a running butt bump and again, Jake comes staggering out of the corner and this time, Dewey whips him across the ring again and quickly follows after him but Jake putting on the breaks, grabs the top ropes and elevates himself so he can wrap his legs around Eugene’s neck as the FIST comes charging in. Jake with the headsissors takedown sends Eugene to the mat. Donovan into the ropes, comes off with a springboard summersault legdrop across the chest of Eugene Dewey and Jake quick to make the cover.]

[One]

[Two]

DDK:
Eugene Dewey kicking out of that with authority! The FIST showing that he still has a lot left in the gas tank.

Angus:
Pretty sure you’re talking about the wrong kind of gas.

[Both men climbing to their feet, Jake a bit faster, is there with the dropkick as soon as Eugene regains his footing and the FIST of DEFIANCE sent crashing through the ropes! Jake Donovan popping back to his feet, not even taking a moment to think, grabs the ropes and slingshots himself over the top and down onto Eugene]

YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DDK:
Listen to those people screaming for Jake Donovan!

THIS IS AWESOME!
CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

THIS IS AWESOME!
CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

Angus:
I wish they’d shut the hell up, they’re giving me a headache!

Jake rolling off Eugene runs at the announce table, leaps up onto it, jumps off into a moonsault and catches nothing but knees as the FIST of DEFIANCE gets his massive ones up to protect himself and now Jake is writhing on the floor in pain.

Angus:
Thats exactly what he deserves too! He could have spilled my beer!

[Eugene sits up and rubs the back of his neck while keeping an eye on Donovan who’s clutching his ribs a foot away. The referee’s count is at four as Eugene climbs to his feet and pulls Jake up as well, driving a knee into the sore ribs of Donovan before rolling him back into the ring, then climbing in after him. Eugene not giving Jake a moment to rest, pulls him to his feet and right into a short armed forearm to the jaw that rocks Jake’s head back. Eugene follows it up with another knee to the ribs before locking in an abdominal stretch.]

DDK:
That can’t feel good to those hurt ribs of Donovan’s.

Angus:
Good, maybe he’ll quit so the next match can go on!

[Jake desperately reaching for the ropes, tries, but doesn’t have the strength or the leverage to power Eugene into a hiptoss. Eugene continues to pull back on the hold and even hammers a few heavy, clubbing arms down across Jake’s side before pulling back on the hold some more.
Benny Doyle is right there in Jake’s face.]

Doyle:
Want me to stop it, Jake?

Jake:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Angus:
There is no way Jake is getting out of this, he might as well give up now and save me the pain of having to keep looking at him.

[Jake unable to reach the ropes, starts driving his elbow into the quad of the FIST, finally forcing Eugene to break the hold. Jake turning towards Eugene,right into a knee lift from the DEFIANCE FIST, however, and Dewey quick to hook Jake and lift him up, holding him upside down for several moments before bringing him crashing down to the canvas with a vertical suplex. Eugene with the cover.]

[One]

Angus
It’s all over for Donovan here.

[Two]

DDK:
Try telling him that! What a kickout from Donovan!

[Eugene giving the ref another frown as he climbs to his feet and reaches to pull Jake up with him but Donovan with a small package.]

[One]

[Two]

DDK:
Kickout from the FIST and Jake almost stole this match right there.

[Both men rolling to their feet, Donovan a hair faster, lights Eugene up with a series of roundhouse kicks to the quad followed by a jumping round to the head of the champion before leaping onto the shoulders of the FIST. Hurricunara from Donovan right into a pin!]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FLASH FLASH POP POP POP FLASH

[One]

Angus
NO WAY!!!

[Two]

DDK
He did it, Donovan did….NO!!!!! EUGENE KICKED OUT!!!! EUGENE KICKED OUT!!!

[Eyes wide, Jake Donovan stares at the ref like he cannot believe what just happened and the referee holds up two fingers as the crowd goes crazy cheering for both men to keep on fighting. Eugene sitting up, watching as Donovan holds up three fingers to the ref.]

Benny Doyle
It was two! it was only two!

Donovan turns back towards the FIST and Eugene blasts him with a forearm shot to the face before climbing to his feet and pulling Donovan up with him and delivering another forearm shot to the face followed by a chop to the chest.]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Angus
Why the hell do they keep doing that!!!!

[Eugene with a second chop, and a third and the fans continuing to holler along with his chops as Jake is staggered. A fourth chop from Dewey.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Eugene grabs Jake’s arm and whips him across the ring into the far corner. Jake hits the turnbuckles back first and sags in the corner as Eugene comes rushing in after him with another big butt bump, this time to the chest and those sore ribs of Donovan. Dewey bringing Donovan out of the corner the hard way with a high angle side suplex right into a cover]

[One]

Angus:
Jake needs to stay down, just stay down and let this end!

[Two]

DDK:
I don’t think he has much choice this one is over!!!! NO!!!!!

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Angus:
WHY! WHY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DDK:
JAKE KICKED OUT!!!!!!!!! Now it is Eugene’s turn to stare at the Benny in shock!

Angus:
This thing should have ended five minutes ago!!!

[Jake rolling unsteadily to his feet, fires off a roundhouse at Eugene as soon as the FIST stand up, but Dewey responds with one of his own. Jake with a forearm and Eugene again firing back with one of his own, and then a palm heel to the chest for good measure. Jake clutches his chest, but fires off a front kick to Eugene’s midsection, Eugene straightens up, catching Jake with a chop to the chest as he does, then whips Jake into the ropes. Jake comes off the ropes with a high crossbody that sends Eugene to the mat.]

DDK:
That might have been a little TOO high that time, he took Eugene down but no cover there for Jake Donovan.

[Jake rolling to his feet, catches Eugene with a dropkick to the head as soon as the Fist sits up and then Jake heading into the nearest corner, pulls himself up onto the top rope, steadies himself and backflips off, twisting, turning….]

YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DDK:
PHOENIX SPLASH!!!!!!

FLASH POP POP FLASH FLASH FLASH

[Jake with the cover]

[ONE]

Angus:
IT’S OVER….IT’S OVER IT’S FINALLY OVER!!!!!

[TWO]

[THRE….]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DDK:
IT’S NOT OVER!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

[Everyone in the arena is on their feet as Eugene Dewey, the FIST of DEFIANCE, KICKS OUT!!!!]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Angus:
It’s never gonna end…….

[Jake holding his side in pain as he rolls off Eugene and gets to his knees, Eugene holding his side as well as he climbs to his knees, trying to get back to his feet. Donovan with a chop to Dewey, Dewey answers with a forearm to the jaw, they are on their knees, trading chops and strikes until Dewey rocks Donovan with an uppercut, then grabs the multicolored hair of Donovan and lands a headbutt to the painted wrestler that crosses Donovan’s eyes. The FIST of DEFIANCE with a second headbutt before climbing to his feet slowly and pulling Donovan up with him, Donovan unsteady on his feet as well and Eugene staggers him with a double chop to the chest that sends Donovan into the ropes. Jake bounces off and catches Eugene with a forearm to the jaw that ends to the FIST to one knee.]

DDK:
They’ve got nothing left. Donovan isn’t even following up, he’s just….

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Eugene Dewey explodes upward, connecting with the jaw of Jake Donovan with the Shoryuken  jumping, twisting uppercut and Jake’s head snaps back]

Angus:
My GOD!!!!! I think he knocked the colors off his face!

[Jake crumpling to the mat in a boneless heap and Eugene staggering over to drop down beside him and make the cover]

[ONE]

DDK:
There’s no way Donovan kicks out here. No way!

[Two]

Angus:
For christ sake let it finally end!

[THREE]

YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DDK:
What a match! What an amazing battle between the FIST of DEFIANCE and former Southern Heritage Champion Jake Donovan!

Angus:
Did it have to drag on so long?!

DDK:
Yeah Angus, it did. Those two men gave it everything they had out there, they kept it clean and in the end, Eugene and his Shoryuken  proved to be just a little too much for Donovan to handle.

[Inside the ring the Doyle raises Eugene’s hand in victory as the crowd continues to loudly cheer both men. Blinking at the lights, Jake Donovan struggles to clear his vision as Eugene Dewey carefully helps him sit up.]

Angus:
Oh for crying out loud, the match is over, now what are these idiots doing?!!!!

DDK:
It’s called respect! Watch and learn.

Angus:
I’d rather have a beer.

[Still dazed, it takes Jake a moment to realize the match is over, as Eugene talks to his opponent, finally bringing him around. Jake gives Eugene a nod and the FIST helps him to his feet, bringing a thunderous pop from the fans.]

That was awesome!!!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!

[Eugene, with the FIST of DEFIANCE over his shoulder, steadies Jake as flashbulbs go off all around them. Jake, reaches out his hand to Eugene, who returns the gesture, shaking Jake’s hand, but it is Jake who raises the hand of the champion as the pair receive a standing ovation from the defiance fans for their efforts. Finally, releasing Eugene’s hand, Jake drops to the mat, rolls from the ring, and makes his way slowly up the aisle, using the guardrail most of the way, fans reaching out to pat him on the back  as he makes his way back behind the curtain, leaving Eugene to celebrate for a moment in the ring alone.]

[Eugene climbs to the middle rope, the FIST held in one hand, and he raises it up overhead, and-

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

DDK:
CURTIS PENN WITH A CHEAP SHOT ON THE CHAMP!

[Penn rushed into the ring from behind Dewey and gave him a roundhouse kick to the right leg behind the knee.  Dewey's legs buckle, and he falls back into the ring with a crash.]

Angus:
ASDAGPAGOHAWIOHRLKJA!!!!!

[Angus splutters in fury as Penn grabs a hand full of ginger gamer-fro and bashes away at Dewey's face.  Benny Doyle tries to pull Penn off, but gets a pie-face for his troubles.]

DDK:
Penn is all over Dewey.  Pulling him to his feet - sheer drop german suplex!  Right on the back of the neck!

Angus:
I'm not calling this.  Fuck Curtkevin Pennhomo.

[Penn pulls Dewey to his knees.  He loops one arm around Dewey's neck, the other around his arm, and leans back.]

DDK:
Standing dragon sleeper, and that's just going to lead into-

[Penn steps over Dewey's body, twisting him so he's stomach down on the mat, Penn sitting on his back and still applying the dragon sleeper.]

DDK:
The Curtis Clutch! He debuted this at Grindhouse HOMECOMING to put Eugene's opponent away, and now he's got it hooked in on the champ!

[Eugene's hands scrabble at Penn's arm.  Penn grins and waggles his tongue around as he cranks back on the hold.  Benny Doyle pries at his arm, but he hasn't got the strength to do anything.  Eugene pounds at the mat with his free arm.]

DDK:
Eugene's tapping!  He's tapping out!

Angus:
This isn't even a match what the FUCK DAMMIT!

[Seeing the DEFsec squad heading to the ring, Penn drops Dewey and raises his arms, then rolls backwards out of the ring just as Samuel Grant and Jamie Stanley roll in.]

DDK:
Fans, I'm barely believing what I'm seeing!  Heidi Christenson tried just about every move in her repetoire and couldn't make Dewey tap out at Homecoming, but Curtis Penn just pulled the trick here tonight!

Angus:
IT DOESN'T COUNT IT WAS A RUN-IN GAWD AGSFDSK!

[A pair of DEFmed people come into the ring to check on Dewey, who still hasn't gotten up and is clutching his neck.]

[We'll be right back.]

[Once again, far away from the ring.]

[Remember them commercial breaks that exist on Hulu, but most everyone just wanted nothing to do with here? Let’s just pretend one of those happened between now and the end of Jake Donovan’s match with Eugene Dewey. If you feel the need to sell it, just imagine it’s happening, some commercial about pussy stink is on your television, just give us a minute or two. And for the record, yes, that is a real commercial on Hulu, just work with me, alright?]

[kthx]

[And we return to the show! An obviously disappointed Jake Donovan walks the halls, now joined by his new comrades, Tyrone Walker, Troy Matthews and Saori Kazama, who have just run up to console their mutual friend.]

Tyrone Walker:
Hey kid, good match, tough loss, but it was good.

[Jake sighes and gives Ty a weary grimace]

Jake Donovan:
I almost had him though.

Tyrone Walker:
Eeeh, what can you do?… Euge’s on a roll, you know how it is.

[Jake shrugs, sighs, then finally nods in agreement.]

Troy Matthews:
Hell of a show, though, you both busted your asses out there.

Tyrone Walker: [nods enthusiastically]
Hells yeah, that was a mothafucka of a match you had out there wit’ ol’ Euge, mang.

[Now that gets a small grin from Jake.]

Jake Donovan:
Thanks guys, maybe next ti…

[As the crew rolls around a corner Jake’s voice trails off as he drops that thought upon seeing his big buddy, Sam Turner Jr. leaving the Office of the Bo$$. All of them look ahead to see what Jake is looking at.]

Troy Matthews:
Well, this can’t be good.

[Jake rushes ahead without another word.]

Tyrone Walker:
Well, I guess we might as well go get a look see too… Aye, Saori, be ready to bash these niggaz wit’ yo kendo, a’ight… Y’know, jus’ in case shit?

[Kazama nods and the three catch up with Jake. Meanwhile Sam, Nicky Corozzo and Jane Katze, appear to be discussing further what the Bo$$ had to say to Mr. Turner.]

Nicky Corozzo:
So think it over, and make the right decision.

[Jane paces her hand on Sam’s left cheek and kisses him on the right.]

Jane Katze:
It’s not really that hard, but I can help it be.

[Jane let out a playful little giggle. Just as Jake makes his way to the three of them.]

Jake Donovan:
What’s going on?

[The three turn around just as Walker, Matthews and Saori meet back up with Jake.]

Nicky Corozzo:
This doesn’t concern you Jake. We’re speaking to our friend Sam, and I don’t believe you were invited into this conversation. So kindly, leave.

Jake Donovan:
No, not without an answer from Sam. Everything okay here, Sam?.

[Nicky shrugs his shoulders.]

Sam Turner Jr.:
We’s just chattin’. It ain’t nuttin’ to it Jake.

[Jake’s not buying it and tries to plunge deeper into the mystery.]

Jake Donovan:
Then what are you supposed ta think over?

[Sam releases a deep sigh as the leggy Jane Katze steps in front of him.]

Jane Katze:
It’s really nothing to worry you’re nappy head of hair about Jake. Kthxbye!

Troy Matthews:
He-heeeeyyyy, Scissor Lock!

[Jane seethes through her teeth at Troy, and spits a bit of venom in her retort…]

Jane Katze:
You remember what happened to you at Homecoming; watch your tongue, or Nicky and I will have a repeat performance… for you and your fragile little cherry blossom.

Saori Kazama:
I’ve fought bigger, stronger women with more talent in one eyelash that you have in your entire body, Katze.  Would you like to see just how fragile I am, bitch, or are you reserved for Mr. Grey in the office?

[Dayum.]

KA-THWACK!

[That is the sound of Saori’s shinai cracking on a nearby wall, before Troy snaps an arm in front of her, holding her back.  Jane simply laughs in their faces and turns tail.]

Tyrone Walker:
Look trix, we jus’ wanna know what’s good wit’ Jake’s homie.

[Nicky Corozzo straightens his tie.]

Nicky Corozzo:
Simply put in ebonic form for you Ty, ‘it be nun’ya bit’nez nigga’!

[Uh oh.]

[Jake froze, not a multi-colored hair moving]

[Sam’s face goes pale, like he’s just seen a ghost. He looks at Nicky about to speak but freezes.]

[Troy and Saori in particular look like the color is rapidly draining from their faces.  Meanwhile, Ty Walker stands statue-still, save for a twitch in his eye.]

[That did it, the eyre of Tyrone Walker has just been ruffled.]

Tyrone Walker:
Oh, oh, is that so? You big cannoli eatin’ mothafucka, I know yo big, oversized Tony Soprano fuckin’ ass didn’t jus’ call me a nigga?!

[Ty steps to the largest man in the equation, even though Corozzo has damn near a full foot and well over a hundred pounds on him.]

Tyrone Walker:
 I don’t give a goddamn whose billionaire balls you got stuffed in yo fat mouth… nigga! Bottomline? I will smack the fuck outta yo no neck havin’ ass, ya dig, mang?!

[Jake and Troy see this as their cue to jump in and pull Ty back, they may not have been associating with him that long, but they know enough to know this isn’t going to end too well.]

Jane Katze:
That’s right, leave the adults to talk about actual business, now run along… boy.

[She snickers as she says “boy” under her breath, but knows they all heard it when Ty glares at her with that “bitch, I will choke you” look that he’s known to get.  At that point Jake, Troy and Saori decide the best thing to do is drag Ty away.]

[Sam looks in Jake’s direction as they drag Ty off and then back to the smiling faces of Jane and Nicky. His mind racing with all the options he’s been offered and the promises of grandeur that he’s heard all night. He just doesn’t know what to do or say anymore, so he does what he’s done best all night. He simply walks away.]

[We cut elsewhere.]

[Standing in front of the black fist of DEFIANCE is a nominee for the Sports Reporter of the Year, Christie Zane, she could possibly have a chance if Lance Warner wasn’t a nominee as well. Her eyes are boring a hole through a set of 3 X 5 index cards trying to prepare for her next interview.]

Christie Zane:
So..uh..my guest at this time is …

[She glances down at the index cards.]

Christie Zane:
LINDSAY TROY! Nailed it!

[As she shuffles the index cards and they fly out of her hands. She kneels down to scoop them into a big ol’ pile as a pair of black and yellow Nike’s step onto the pile. She tries to pull the notes out from under the shoes to no avail.]

Christie Zane:
Would you please get off of my notes?

Voice:: (coldly)
Christie, look up.

[Her eyes climb and once they reach the face of the voice her eyes lock onto the cold green eyes of Curtis Penn.]

Christie Zane:
Oh.

[Curtis grins.]

Curtis Penn:
This is where I give you a chance to interview DEFIANCE’s Peak of Perfection and The Creator of the Curtis Clutch.

[She is shell shocked, not by the opportunity to interview one of the top five wrestlers in the DEFIANCE Company, but by the rudeness of him not moving his damn feet!]

Christie Zane:
My notes…

[He brushes back a strand of hair on her face; she flinches away as his hand comes close to touching her.]

Curtis Penn:
Christie, you don’t need notes to interview the Epitome of Excellence. All you need to do is hold the microphone right here.

[His hands close gently around hers and raise her microphone to a hair below his beard. Her face manages to produce a scowl and leaves him holding the microphone by himself and she leaves him standing alone.]

Curtis Penn:
I understand being in the presence of greatness leaves most people speechless Christie, but maybe you’re just not ready right now to interview DEFIANCE’s Doctor of Dominance. 

[He pauses and faces the camera.]

Curtis Penn:
In a year I have revolutionized DEFIANCE Wrestling. In one year I propelled the Southern Heritage Championship into being the most coveted belt that a DEFIANCE Wrestler could wear.  In one year I have inspired an entire population of people to give as I did with the Curtis Clutch Challenge. And in one year I have redefined the word ‘Wrestler’.
[Curtis’ face twists into a  scowl.]

Curtis Penn:
And my ‘reward’?

[He snorts.]

Curtis Penn:
A match against Jake Donovan… The greatest Southern Heritage champion in the history of DEFIANCE comes home, and he has to face that multicolored motherfucker? Something there just don’t compute… But I’m a fighter, so I do my job and I decimate him… There’s really no other word for it, I tore. Him. Apart.

[He bites down on his lower lip.]

Curtis Penn:
Now explain to me how HE gets a shot at the FIST? How does Jake Donovan get a shot at the FIST of DEFIANCE while Curtis Penn gets left off of the fucking card? Because I’m a little confused over just how that works out.

[Curtis’ lip curls.]

Curtis Penn:
Everybody and their grandmothers know I should be the one competing for the FIST and not that walking Glo-Stick. And I guess I should have come to expect it by now, I mean, it doesn’t matter who’s in charge, does it? Whether it’s Eric Dane, Jeff Andrews, Kelly Evans, or Edward White, none of them want to give Curtis Penn a shot, because they all know that if they do, I’ll prove to the world that their champions are nothing but mediocrity personified.

[Curtis snort at the idea.]

Curtis Penn:
But just because I should expect it, doesn’t mean I’m gonna accept it. You know that saying? ‘The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step’? Well tonight you paid witness to the first step on what’s going to be a very short journey… My journey to the FIST of DEFIANCE. No more will I be held down, and no more will I be over looked...

[Penn’s face starts to redden.]

Curtis Penn:
Am I not the one who re-established the Southern Heritage Title? Am I not the one who has beaten everyone who has been placed in front them? Am I not the one who has been on a yearlong winning streak? Am I not the baddest motha f*cker in wrestling TODAY!? If I’m lying may I be struck down where I stand!

[The scowl on his face loosens as a small smile cracks the surface.]

Curtis Penn:
That’s why after that pathetic excuse for a match.  I issued the Curtis Clutch Challenge to Eugene Dewey! And What do you know; even Batman himself couldn’t break the Curtis Clutch. I brought the guy that refused to tap out to The Beautiful Dreamer to his knees. I’ve shown time and time again, my Curtis Clutch is unbreakable, indefensible, and inescapable. In fact I could have named it Alcatraz, because no one can escape after I lock ‘em up.

[Curtis pauses after the joke and allow his smile to grow larger still.]

Curtis Penn:
Euge, don’t feel bad about tapping out to the Curtis Clutch. It happens to everyone; young, old, veteran, or rookie and thanks to you I can add Champions to that list as well.

[He tugs on his beard.]

Curtis Penn:
No, Eugene, the only thing you should be worrying about is the fact that the next time you tap out to the Curtis Clutch… You’ll be saying goodbye to the FIST of DEFIANCE.

[Fade elsewhere.]