Title: Future Endeavors
Featuring: Eric Dane
Date: 08.02.13
Location: DEFIANCE Promo Booth

“Lawyers?”
 
[A milli-second later, the video catches up with the audio.]
 
“I know how much you pricks make, and it’s less than what my lawyers auto-draft out of my account every month just to keep them on retainer.”
 
[Eric Dane chuckles to his own private joke.]
 
Eric Dane:
So, if you really really really, reeeeeeally want to go that route, fine. I’ll hold all three of you jackass zebras in litigation until long after your grandchildren drop out of public school in the ninth grade. Mayhap this little exercise in futility will help you help them in their transition to transient gutter-trash.
 
[He smiles an irritated smirk. The scene opens up behind him only a bit, but enough to recognize Cancer Jiles’ favorite ficus and the art department’s favorite DEFIANCE backdrop. That’s right, ye olde BAWS is standing right in the promo booth!]
 
[And why not? He owns it, and what better way to answer a lawsuit?]
 
Eric Dane:
Or, and this is the part that nobody thinks about when they walk out in a huff, I could hold you in breach of contract, fire you without compensation, bring in a completely new ref crew to do the same half-ass job that you three hacks can barely do, and blackball you from the entire rest of the industry.
 
Why, you may ask?
 
Because I’m Eric Dane, not Benny fucking Doyle.
 
[There’s that irritated smirk again.]
 
Eric Dane:
So in closure, go ahead, stay home for TV Thirty Nine. Let your dime store lawyers lie to you about having some modicum of leverage, see if I give one quarter of one shit. As a matter of fact, here’s what I’ll do: I’ll referee the main event my goddamned self. I’ll keep those ten jackasses in check if I have to bring in friggin’ Seal Team Six and stand them Full Metal Jacket around my ring and make the damned thing a Taliban Lumberjack match! As for the rest of the matches, I’ve got it on the highest authority that I can find some handy-dandy volunteer guest referees to go out there and count to three by the time we go on the air. So Benny, Carla, Mark, do yourselves a favor...
 
[The irritation in his smirk is gone, replaced by satisfied contempt.]
 
Eric Dane:
Enjoy your unpaid vacation, and remember, we here at DEFIANCE Wrestling wish all three of you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors.
 
[Wink.]


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